Mirage of Kaleidoscopes
by Lithosphere
Summary: Life is a kaleidoscope full of mirrors and shards that twist and turn creating a mirage of beauty and colour and life is nothing more than a beautiful illusion, just like a kaleidoscope. Self-Insert. SI. OC.
1. Chapter 1 - The Unnamed

**Title:** Mirage of Kaleidoscopes

**Summary:** Life is a kaleidoscope full of mirrors and shards that twist and turn creating a mirage of beauty and colour and life is nothing more than a beautiful illusion, just like a kaleidoscope.

**Chapter One: The Unnamed**

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><p>"<em><strong>Life and death are the opposite sides of a coin." <strong>_

― _Anonymous_

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* * *

><p>She remembers lights, and laughter and the sound of music blasting through speakers and then the sound of metal scrapping against metal. She remembers screams and tears and the bright red liquid that spilt onto the ground.<p>

There are touches and slaps on different parts of her body; she feels tears falling down splattering onto her dirty skin. There are people surround her, pushing, screaming, yelling and crying. She can't hear their voices as they all blend into on as her mind grasps onto the situation at hand.

Death.

She feels fear and tries desperately to hold on, to grasp as much strength as possible to stay alive. Chanting over and over till it became a mantra, _"I don't want to die, I don't want to die. Not yet, not yet… not like this." _She wonders in that moment if she was chanting it out loud or just thinking it.

She hears sirens close by and tries to stay awake… but she is so tired.

Her eyes begin to close.

Her arm stretches out.

There is a light in the distance.

Then –

… _nothing_

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* * *

><p>.<p>

Uchiha Nanashi.

She is born in Konohagakure, the eldest of the twins, her younger brother born only a few minutes after her. She is born in Konoha, a village built through blood and murder, betrayal and deceit, and thrives on will of fire that _**burns**_.

It is during the Second Great Shinobi War that she is born.

In the maternity ward in the largest hospital in Konoha, she is born. When a child is born it is a joyful occasion but her birth is treated with nothing but cold indifference on the borderline of hate.

Usually a nurse would hold the child – or in this case children – and give them to their parents, but there are no parents to hold these children. The father died a month before they were born and the mother dies a few minutes after her daughter's birth, the son had to be forcefully brought out from his mother's cut open stomach.

The boy is taken by a couple who coolly accepts the child and names him Shinji and leaves.

It is the only time she will ever be so close her brother.

The nurse leaves her in a cradle and leaves.

She has no name.

Nanashi, the unnamed.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

She is left at an orphanage built recently in the Uchiha clan compounds, at the very edge. She is one of many, an insignificant creature who is not worth anything till she is older. The orphanage is crowded, filled to the brim with Uchiha children who have lost parents in the war, abandoned by their remaining family or simply unwanted. They are children who are used, toyed with, and forced to submit to the wishes of their more fortunate clan members. Most of them are civilian born Uchiha or branch family who are worth nothing in the eyes of the main branch.

She remembers seeking a caretaker's hug once before only to be slapped and sent back to her cot.

Since then Nanashi vows to be strong.

She is not the youngest or the oldest. She is like all of them, abandoned, and unwanted, with no parents. But she is the only one who tries to survive.

She has watched as some Uchiha children were lured away by older Uchiha members, returning broken and haunted and young children being bought with money by masked ANBU members. Once in a while an elder – sometimes accompanied by a chuunin or jounin – comes for a visit, looking intently for children who hold promise to become ninja… to become the Uchiha clan's tools to gain greater power. They would take them away and make them into shinobi for the clan.

Sometimes many children are taken all at once by an elder. They are the ones she never sees again.

Nanashi avoids them as much as she can.

She will become stronger on her own.

Most of all, she refuses to become anyone's tool.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

She dreams a lot.

Sometimes she falls asleep without meaning to.

Other children and drunken caretakers comment on it.

She does not care.

When she closes her eyes she is no longer in Konoha, but in a grey, gleaming city with looming towers and brightly coloured cars speeding down the street. The voices of hundreds of people overlapping each other and the smell of gasoline and cigarettes and trees and flowers, everything she missed, would fill the air.

She would be back in her room, her finger tracing over the books on her bookshelf. Her bed would be messy, unmade, clothes thrown carelessly on the floor and leftover pizza on the table.

She would open up her manga collection and read and dreams and imagines a life beyond her own.

Her eyes open.

She stops dreaming.

She does not want a life beyond her own.

Nanashi stops.

No one notices until months after.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

They come back more often.

The war has claimed many lives.

This time they take any children available – those whose absence would not be missed greatly.

Nanashi is drafted into the group. There are children crying in fear. Some older ones are joyful to be able to become a ninja. Some boast of their relations to some Uchiha ninja. Fools, she thinks, what is the point of fame if you will die before achieving it.

The group is led into a cave and then underground.

The group of children is forced into stripped pajamas.

Like the Nazis made the Jewish people wear, she thinks.

Nanashi is three and a half when she experiences death head on once more, but this would not be the last time.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

She is in pain.

Her arms, legs, face… every part of her is in pain.

They cut her open and stich her back up.

A never ending process.

In the dark she laughs, wondering if she resembles the rag doll from the Nightmare Before Christmas.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

She is one of few children who survive the procedure.

She pukes and coughs and vomits all of the meager content in her stomach. She glances around and sees nothing but dead or dying bodies of children.

And she might become one of them.

Slowly she reaches for the piece of discarded bread and eats ravenous. She places her hands over her mouth and forces herself to swallow. When pain and heat – **burning** – scorching through her, and bile threatens to come out through her mouth, she swallows.

They have poisoned the food.

The clothes.

The water.

Everything.

"… help…" One of the children, a boy, begs, whispering.

The bread is pressed against their lip and she can see a girl urging him to eat. But Nanashi knows that he will die.

She hands tighten around the kunai pressed against her leg.

A weapon given to end their life if it became too hard to survive.

"Move."

Pushing the other girl aside, she plunges the kunai into the boy's heart, her eyes emotionless as she watch his eyes dim.

The girl shrieks in horror and her cries echo throughout the cave. No one care.

Nanashi stands up, blood splattered across her face and shirt.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

She chews and bites and swallows.

It is – according to the nurses in the hospital – six months since her, and the other children's disappearance.

A council elder had been conducting experiments with children to negate the Hidden Sand's wide arsenal of poison users. It became suspicious more children began disappearing from the orphanage.

Three groups of ANBU barge into the cave battling Uchiha ninja and hired assassins and searching for survivors after.

All are died, except for her.

Splattered in blood, eating molded bread and yet…

_**She is alive. **_

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* * *

><p>.<p>

After the hospital deems her stable, she is immediately returned to the orphanage. The experiment was a failure and Nanashi laughs.

The other children fear her, the caretakers shun her and everyone avoids her.

Food becomes scarce as the war continues and she is soon drafted into the academy. Konoha cannot allow her skills to be wasted no matter what she has been through. She goes without a fight because she wants to live.

And because she wonders when life became so meaningless to her.

Sometimes she dreams of killing everyone in the orphanage.

Nanashi does not want to lose herself anymore. She prays for a reason to continue living, to keep herself sane.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

They call her a prodigy.

She is the hope of the new generation.

The Ninja Academy is jokingly easy. She speaks only when spoken to, writes when needed, and participates only when necessary.

The teachers are pleased.

She is a model student.

Finally, the clan elders are beginning to pay attention to her.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

The clan's elite ninjas take time off to teach her.

She learns quickly.

But they never teach anything more than the basics to achieving something great. They fear her becoming too great that she will break apart from the clan.

Tree walking, water walking, spewing fire, taijutsu and genjutsu.

She learns what she is taught.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

The first – or rather second – time she meets her brother it is in rather undesirable circumstances.

The couple that adopted her brother, Shinji, has taken her into their family as well.

The clan elders pit her in a battle against her brother, they are only still children. Shinji aims and hits and kicks and she dodges and sneaks past his guard with a kunai pressed to his neck.

"Yield." He does.

Shinji hates her.

She does not particularly care for him.

But one thing she is sure of is she hates the clan.

She is fond of her freedom and hates the shackles the clan tries to place on her.

They train her. Feed her. Try to teach her loyalty to the clan above the village.

She listens.

The clan members are pleased.

… _**But she does not obey.**_

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><p>.<p>

In the academy she has no friends.

She is always alone.

The children fear her and Shinji's rumors only heighten their fear.

But at least she is glad her brother is in another class because she is not sure she can restrain herself from developing feelings towards him. She does not want to love or hate such a person like Shinji.

Love makes you weak.

Hatred makes you even weaker.

They are mottos that she lives by.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

She is five when she graduates.

The normal – current – age to graduate is nine. The children are enrolled at the age of four or five and pushed out sooner to replace the shinobi who have died in battle.

A large number of Uchiha gather at ceremony, all of them proud at producing such a shinobi. They are sure that she will be loyal.

She scoffs and laughs at their delusions.

Shinji is jealous of her abilities and status. He hates her with a passion. She knows because he tells her so every day.

She finds herself caring nothing about the boy whom she shared eleven months with in their mother's stomach.

This day on she is a kunoichi of Konoha.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

This is the beginning of her new life.

Nanashi Uchiha.


	2. Chapter 2 - Bonds

**Title:** Mirage of Kaleidoscopes

**Summary:** Life is a kaleidoscope full of mirrors and shards that twist and turn creating a mirage of beauty and colour and life is nothing more than a beautiful illusion, just like a kaleidoscope.

**Chapter Two: Bonds**

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* * *

><p>"<em><strong>We're born alone, we live alone, and we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone."<strong>_

― _Orson Welles_

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* * *

><p>She sits at the very back of the class filled with children much older than her who have all graduated. This is a precaution if the enemy every invaded Konoha she could escape from the academy building easier. She waits patiently as the teacher walks in and begins to quiet everything down.<p>

The teacher reads off a clip board.

She dozes off till her name is called.

"Uchiha Nanashi."

She waits.

"Hyuuga Hotaru."

A Hyuuga with an Uchiha, she laughs in her head.

"And Yamanaka Shouji."

She feels two pairs of eyes on her. She stares right back.

And smiles coldly.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

The Hyuuga wears a white turtle neck with black pants. His forehead is bare, a main family member, she thinks.

The Yamanaka is dressed – quote on quote in the latest shinobi trend – rich purple top and dark pants, and his hair is cut – quote on quote in a daringly adorable yet cute way – wild with lighter streaks dyed in.

She studies her team members as they are all sitting outside, on top of the roof. Their sensei, a male, leaning on the railing, he was young, barely twenty.

"My name is Yukimura Kenji, I'm twenty-five years old and I'm a chuunin," he introduces. "My favorite foods are Takoyaki and Kitsune Udon. Least favorite foods are lettuce and carrots. My hobbies include reading and collecting rare books. My dream in the future is to live to see my grandchildren." He chooses Shouji to go next.

"My name is Yamanaka Shouji, I'm nine years old," he introduced cheerfully. "My favorite foods are Katsudon and all kinds of sushi. My least favorite foods are eggplants and lemons. My hobbies are looking at beautiful women and dating beautiful women. My dream in the future is to marry a beautiful woman and have lots of good looking kids."

The Hyuuga is next.

"My name is Hyuuga Hotaru, I'm nine years old," Hotaru says shyly, rather different than regular Hyuuga members. "My favorite foods are Taiyaki and ramen. My least favorite foods are celery and tomatos. My hobbies include leaf collecting and drawing. My dream is to merge the main and branch family into one." His voice filled with conviction as he voiced his dream.

So bright, she thinks. All of them had such bright goals and desires for the future. Did they understand that a ninja's life was short and brief and that they would die before any of their dreams come true?

The three males are staring at her expectantly.

"My name is Uchiha Nanashi," she introduces herself coldly. "That is all you need to know about me."

There is no point in getting attached to things that will fade.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

In the first week of their team Yukimura-sensei teaches them tree walking.

But she already knows, so he has her complete exercises and stretches. She sits down and rests, the sun bright and hot and burning.

Under the shade of the tree she watches her teammates struggle with the tree walking and wonders if she should help. She decides not to and sits down observing.

"Hey! Nana-chan! Can you help me?"

Shouji, bright, cheerful Shouji, always trying to include her somehow.

She nods, she will not refuse them help if asked but she will never offer it on her own.

Effectively, she tunes out Shouji's chattering and focuses on Hotaru, who blushes under her gaze. She gives them pointers and watches as they try and try again till they master it. Shouji jumps upside down from branch to branch. Hotaru merely stands on the trunk, flushed with exhaustion and pride.

She finds it funny that she has the most controversial team.

A Yamanaka who does not study others but rather focuses on himself.

A Hyuuga who is not proud but rather shy and kind.

"Arigato Nana-chan!"

She feels warm for some reasons.

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><p>.<p>

"Nana-san are you alright?" Hotaru asks.

She nods and wipes the scratch on her arm with a tissue. Shouji is battling with the cat, Tora – the great, great grand parent of the Tora from the Naruto series – whom their team was sent to recover.

Yukimura-sensei congratulates them on a mission well done and they return back to the Hokage Tower.

Another mundane mission.

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><p>.<p>

"Yay C-Rank!" Shouji cheers

It was their first c-rank mission. It was simple, get a scroll from the Konoha Intelligence Division and deliver it to a base.

She holds her hand in front of her face, blocking off the sun's rays.

Bright, warm, gentle.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

"They canceled our C-Rank!"

Shouji walked back and forth, puffing in anger.

"The war… my father tells me it is ending soon," Hotaru's cold voice cuts through Shouji's ranting. "What is going to happen to us? All this time we have trained to join the war." Hotaru's body shook, "What are we going to do." He is scared, scared of the future. An unplanned future.

"Hotaru…" Shouji mutters, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder.

She watches silently.

"We'll be fine," she states.

The boys look at her in surprise.

"We'll be fine," she repeats. "We are a team. The end of the war will change nothing."

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* * *

><p>.<p>

The war ends a week after.

The village celebrates.

Nanashi stares blankly at the scenery below on the balcony located on the Hokage Monument. Her team is with her, eating and drinking whatever they brought with them.

"Do you think that war is really over?" Hotaru asks.

Yukimura-sensei seems reluctant to answer.

"No, it's never over."

She plans to enjoy as much peace as she can.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

She trains and trains and trains.

With the clan members, against her weak little brother, with her team, but it is never enough.

She wants to be stronger so she can live because she knows that war is coming again. And she does not want to die.

For what is the point of knowledge if it is not used to your advantage.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

Hotaru offers to teach her some of the tenketsu in the human body.

Shouji offers to teach her how to read others.

Yukimura-sensei tries to teach her teamwork.

All she does is smile and learn.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

"My father is angry with me," Hotaru whispers, voice full of hurt and pain. "He says that I am not good enough."

She stands and gets into form.

"Fight me."

Hotaru stares at her wide eyed.

She strikes.

Hotary deflects.

A kick. A punch thrown. A fist deflected.

She hits a tenketsu above his arm and Hotaru drops down.

"You are weak," she states. "But you will be strong, someday. Stronger than anyone and until you become stronger you are weak. It is as simple as that."

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* * *

><p>.<p>

It is her birthday today.

Her teammates and Yukimura-sensei have decided to give her presents. Yukimura-sensei gives her a new kunai and shuriken set. Shouji gives her a book on herbs.

Hotaru, he gives her a book on all the tenketsu on the body.

"You said you wanted to know," he says shyly, blushing. "I copied all of them down for you."

His gaze is warm and gentle and full of passion. Her heart tightens.

She has not felt like this before.

"Happy birthday, Nana-san."

He places his hands on her shoulder and he presses a kiss on to her forehead.

She is sure that it was only her imagination.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

She is six.

The clan becomes stricter in her training. She learns to move wind and spit fire and heave earth and flow water and create lightening. But it is still not enough.

Her movements are constantly monitored by patrolling Uchiha police members.

She distances herself from her team.

From Hotaru.

When Hotaru questions her with Shouji she smiles coldly, "I am an Uchiha."

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* * *

><p>.<p>

Yukimura-sensei is in dismay as the team begins to fall apart.

Shouji constantly seeks the attention of women despite his young age of 10.

Hotaru submerges himself with training.

She stands at the side, watching.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

"Why?"

"Because I am a Uchiha and you are a Hyuuga."

Hotaru's hand clenches around Nanashi's arm.

"I'll become stronger," he declares, eyes burning. "I'll change the Hyuuga and the Uchiha. So help me Nanashi."

It is the first time he calls her by her full name.

Her heart skips a beat.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

She is six when she meets Obito. He is the nephew of the couple who adopted her twin brother.

He is three.

The clan has declared him old enough to enter the academy.

Obito is still a child, an expendable pawn of the clan.

"Nee-sama!"

Obito follows her everywhere.

She does not know what to make of this child.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

Time passes.

She ages. Seven. Eight. _Nine._

And slowly her team repairs itself and they grow close once more.

Hotaru teaches her the Hyuuga secret style, the Gentle Fist.

Shouji teaches her only the basic Yamanaka ninjutsu, the Shintenshin no Jutsu.

When she asks why…

"Because I trust you."

She feels like laughing, so naïve, she thinks. She never uses the techniques in battle.

But for some reason she feels so warm inside.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

Obito is young and innocent.

He trusts too easily, she thinks, watching him sleep on her lap, her hand running through his hair.

_But he will kill_, a voice in her head says.

He cries because he cannot live up to the clan's expectations, because his family expects more than he can give.

She comforts him because it is her duty.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

It is the summer festival and she is dressed in a ripple designed kimono, rich purple with a bright red obi and long sleeves.

Shouji and Hotaru come to pick her up for the festival.

It is loud and noisy and full of life.

"You look beautiful."

Hotary maneuvers a lock of her hair behind her ear.

She watches him with large black eyes as the fireworks shine brightly in the background.

Her heart is beating for some reasons.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

It is autumn. The leaves turn red and orange and yellow and they cover the ground in a blanket of brilliant colours.

"Let's make a leaf pile and roast some potato!"

Shouji is excited and goes off, executing his plans.

"You have a leaf in your hair Nana-san."

Hotaru's hand is very warm as he plucks the red maple leaf. His hand lingers slight longer than necessary.

"Oi! Come help me Hotaru!"

He breaks away and runs towards Shouji.

She feels oddly disappointed.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

Winter is here but Konoha is never graced with white snow as much as the other villages.

But lady luck seems to be shining on Konoha today and snow begins to fall. Although it always melts it is still beautiful to look at.

Her eyes gaze at the white landscape in awe.

Hotaru takes this moment to wrap a scarf around her neck.

"Don't catch a cold Nana-san."

His smile is kind and warm.

Her heart skips a beat.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

Time passes and the peace remains.

She is ten and she celebrates under a blooming cheery blossom tree as Hotaru presses his lips against hers.

She does not move.

It is so very warm.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

Her happiness does not last.

The third war starts.

Hatake Sakumo is the cause.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

Today is the day Obito graduates. She goes to the academy and she is amused that no one came. He's eyes brighten as he catches her in the distance.

"Nee-sama!" His voice is loud and happy.

She smiles and allows him to drag her off into the crowd.

"That's Rin," he says, blushing.

_You will destroy worlds and lives for that girl_, she thinks. Her gaze turns cold and she tunes out Obito's voice. She wonders if she should kill this boy before he kills.

But she is not so far gone as to consider killing a child.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

Shouji fights as a man possessed.

Hotaru dodges and aims for his tenketsu points.

She stands at the sideline and watches.

"Why is it you!" Shouji screams.

He tosses the kunai aside and leaves.

"… I'm sorry," Hotaru whispers, tears falling from his eyes.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Their team is broken once more.

Yukimura-sensei is no longer there to do anything.

The war has started once more and their sensei is one of the first to be killed.

Rock-nins ambushed one of the bases.

Shouji and Hotaru cry at his funeral.

She stares at the stone plaque and traces his name over and over.

_My dream in the future is to live to see my grandchildren._

Yukimura-sensei was never even married.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

Everything breaks apart someday.

She wraps herself into a ball and stares at the darkening sky.

War has come.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

She is cold once more.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

But she does not cry.


	3. Chapter 3 - Death

**Title:** Mirage of Kaleidoscopes

**Summary:** Life is a kaleidoscope full of mirrors and shards that twist and turn creating a mirage of beauty and colour and in the end; life is nothing more than a beautiful illusion, just like a kaleidoscope.

**Chapter Three: Death**

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* * *

><p>"<em><strong>A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic."<strong>_

― _Joseph__ Stalin_

_._

* * *

><p>She is eleven when the war begins once more.<p>

Her team is broken and torn and shattered beyond repair.

In a rush decision made by the council she and many others are promoted by sole merit of being alive for longer than expected.

She is a Chuunin and she is in charge of her team.

But she does not want this responsibility.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Shinji is still in the academy. The elders are furious that he has not graduated and they mock him. Shinji is angry and bitter and full of resentment.

She can tell that he is nervous.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Have you heard, Hatake Kakashi is the new prodigy? Looks like you're already forgotten Nana-chan, for a traitor's son no less."

Shouji baits her with words and waits for her reaction but she doesn't show anything.

"He's being trained by Namikaze Minato. Apparently he's Jiraiya-sama's student."

Hotaru steps in, "Stop it Shouji-san."

Shouji ignores him and gazes intently at Nanashi.

"You'll get replaced Nana-chan, if you don't do something soon."

He ignores Hotaru's heated glares.

"They're thinking of sending us on the front lines."

He's voice is becoming hysterical.

"We're going to die."

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* * *

><p>.<p>

She goes to pray at Yukimura-sensei's grave because it is the proper thing to do. She brings red poppies and quotes a passage from her past life.

_We are the Dead. Short days ago._

_We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,_

_Love and were loved, and now we lie,_

_In Flanders fields._

She hopes that Yukimura-sensei hears it.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

Hotaru spends all his time beside her.

His eyes are always full of warmth and an emotion she cannot describe. But it makes her feel warm and tingly and happy.

She wonders if this is love. She has never experienced love in her other life. All she has ever had were flings that never lasted.

"I love you Nana-san."

Love is for the weak.

But she does not pull away when he presses his lips to hers.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

"Team Eighteen."

Nanashi steps in front and waits for the details of the mission.

"This is a high-level B-rank. Your team will infiltrate an enemy base recently established itself near the border; there are an estimated number of ten shinobi. Eliminate all targets if needed and bring back the intelligence."

She grabs the scroll and leaves.

In the end everyone is expendable.

Even prodigies.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

They complete the mission with no losses. Shouji needs stitches and Hotaru nurses a bruised arm.

They waited till night. She releases poisonous fumes and casts genjutsu. Shouji uses his clan's jutsu to subdue the enemy and Hotaru become the heavy hitter.

It is so very easy to kill.

"Hotaru!" Shouji screamed.

Her eyes turn to Hotaru, crumpled down holding his arm. She sees red and charged. Her eyes glow bright and red and burns with the will of fire. She kills, stabbing the man in the stomach with a kunai and finishes him off with fire jutsu. His screamed filled the air and it took _**so long**_ for him to die.

She watches every second of it.

Nanashi presses her finger to her lips. She has activated the sharingan.

Hotaru and Shouji do not write this down when they report back.

It is their secret.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

They are sent on more missions and come back successful only to receive more.

She is tired.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Time passes. Twleve. Thirteen. _Fourteen._

Hotaru presses a kiss onto her lips.

He presses a necklace into her hands, there is a ring dangling on the thin silver chain. Hotaru is wearing the matching ring on his neck.

"It belonged to my mother."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Shinji fails to graduate and becomes a civilian member of the Uchiha clan and is disowned by the people he called parents.

He weeps and yells and condemns them and her as well.

She never sees him again unless in a far distance snapshot of life.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

They receive another mission, this time with another team.

She is in charge of leading the attack on a group of rock-nin situated near one of the bases. She splits the team into 3 groups. She is with Hotaru. Shouji is with another member of the other team. And the last two are together.

Blood.

She did not see the ambush coming and Hotaru covers her from the barrage of kunai, shuriken and earth jutsu.

Her eyes see red and she charges at the other shinobi.

She uses the Gentle Fist Style in a fight for the first time. She is mercilessly and she breaks bone, severes limbs, but she leaves them alive.

Her hands go through the signs and she spews fire.

Their screams fill the air.

She holds Hotaru's broken body in her arms.

The fire spreads.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Nana-san… your eyes… the Sharingan…"

She holds Hotaru tightly.

"They're a beautiful colour."

Hotaru.

"I wish… that… I could have… spent more time with you…"

His eyes begin to dim.

She opens her eyes and stares into his, red meeting white.

She would grant his last wish.

A life.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

_The first kiss._

_The proposal in a blooming field of flowers._

_The Hyuuga clan merging into one._

_Marriage._

_Children. _

_Lying side by side till the end._

Her grip tightens around a kunai.

She takes all the knowledge his mind has to offer.

And she strikes, fast and strong, plunging the weapon in his heart.

A lone tear falling down.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Shouji and the others find her later. The fire has subsided and Hotaru's body is nowhere in sight.

"Where is he?" Shouji asks.

She stares blankly at his face.

"I burned him and scattered his ashes." It was protocol. If a member of a team falls in the war effort and has a blood limit, their body must be destroyed immediately.

She feels cold.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Her fifteenth birthday forgotten in amidst the sorrow that clings to the village.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

At Hotaru's funeral Hotaru's father stares at Hotaru's picture in disgust.

"Weak till the end," he mutters.

She has to stop Shouji from killing the man.

Even though she wants to do the same.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The Memorial Stone.

She sits in front of the stone, tracing Hotaru's name.

Her eyes blur and she feels wetness on her cheeks. Hands cover her eyes and she stares at Hotaru's name, her eyes burning red with pinwheels shaped in the form of flames.

Mangenkyo.

She burns Hotaru's name into her memory.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She wears white because she cannot bring herself to wear black. Shouji is subdued and solemn.

"Did you love him?"

"No."

Shouji seems relieved.

"Did you care for him?"

Her throat tightens and her eyes burn.

"Yes, more than anyone."

Shouji's eyes close and he presses a hand, covering his face and weeps.

She knows that she would have killed if she could bring Hotaru back.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The council gives them a new member. Shouji screams and yells and rejects but in the end he is forced to obey the council's commands.

An Inuzuka is their new member, a recent graduate from the academy.

His name is Inuzuka Kai.

She does not care for him.

He is not Hotaru.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Konbanwa Mikoto-sama," she bows perfectly and rose slowly. The Uchiha men are used to women, no matter what status, to be as lady like as possible.

Uchiha Mikoto is the wife of the head of the clan, Uchiha Fugaku and she is round with child. Nanashi smiles politely and says all the congratulations and wishes needed and leaves.

She knows what the child will become.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Shouji begins to treat Kai like a younger, annoying brother with fondness and exasperated affection.

She merely stands at the side, watching. She does not care for him because he is not Hotaru and the wound is still there, still too fresh. Shouji begs her and follows her everywhere till she promises to train him.

"I don't want him to die." Shouji's eyes pierced into hers. She nods and promises to do what she can.

Kai whines and complains but follows her orders nonetheless.

"Ane-san!"

He reminds her of Obito.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The Uchiha elders are disappointed in her. Mission after mission she does not return with the pinwheel eyes that burn like fire.

But they do not know.

Her eyes bleed into red as she stares at the Memorial Stone.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Time passes and she is still in mourning.

She is sixteen and her heart has stopped beating.

"This is my Nee-sama," Obito introduces happily.

She smiles like she does in front of Obito, sweet, warm and gentle, but so cold at the same time. She bows perfectly towards Minato_ because he will be Hokage, because he will bring ruin to Konoha, because he is Naruto's father… __**because she is still too weak**__…_

Rin blushes and bows back and Kakashi ignores her and gets into a fight with Obito.

Nanashi wonders if they are truly so naïve as to act as though they are children and not shinobi who were trained to fight and kill.

Her eyes stare at Obito and her hands tighten.

If Hotaru had still been alive, she knows that she would have killed Obito to keep him safe. To make sure that he would live and survive the coming years of pain, suffering and blood.

But Hotaru is long dead and her heart is too cold and tired.

_Let them suffer loss as I have and mourn as I do._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She is promoted to Tokubetsu Jounin with the rest of her teammates as Chuunin.

Team Eighteen is sent on more dangerous missions.

Kai is young, not fully developed in his abilities but Shouji watches him and weasels her into helping him as well.

"For Hotaru, we can't let another teammate die," Shouji stated, voice full of conviction.

But he's not Hotaru, she wanted to say.

"Alright."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"I'm in love with you," Shouji's voice is calm and clear. Cool with a tingle of desperation and sorrow. Nanashi does not reply as she bends down and places the bouquet of flowers in front of the Memorial Stone.

Her finger traces Hotaru's name over and over again.

"I know."

Shouji's voice comes out in a choked sob, "But you'll never love me as you loved Hotaru."

She stands and stares into his conflicting eyes, her voice cool, "I will never love anyone, but I will never care for anyone as I have towards Hotaru."

Shouji presses his lips onto hers with desperation and she does not stop him.

She will never care for anyone as deeply as Hotaru.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Shouji's love is like the sun, Nanashi muses.

At time it could be playful like the gentle sunlight that pours down and showers everything in a pool of golden light. Or in other time it could be burning like the flames that flicker from the sun once a while. He pursued her with a passion that Hotaru never did.

Shouji kisses as though he's done it a thousand times and maybe he has for all Nanashi knows. He kisses and sucks and licks and holds her as though she is glass and steel all at once. She gives her virginity to him because Hotaru is dead and gone and buried away in her memories.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The missions pile up and soon she is sent on solo missions.

She relies on the Mangenkyo more and more.

_Her desperation to survive._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Shouji is like summer whereas Hotaru was spring.

He is filled with light and warmth and bright. He is warm, so burning with life. She is attracted to him as she has never been with Hotaru.

"I love you."

As she lies beside him, she wonders when silence will no longer suffice as an answer.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Nee-san, this is Nana-chan!"

The woman standing in front of Nanashi is beautiful with fully developed curves, bright blue eyes like Shouji's and long blond hair. Her name is Keiko.

"Nice to meet'cha Nana-chan!"

Keiko reminds Nanashi of Shouji, warm and bright like the sun.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"This will be our first mission together Shouji and when we get home I'll get mom to make a special dinner to celebrate my little bro's first mission with his big sister," Keiko announces, ruffling Shouji's hair.

Keiko's smile is bright and happy and her teammates join her in taunting Shouji.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The mission ended horribly. Shouji is screaming in her arms, his face and hands covered with blood. Kai is on the side watching everything with disbelief.

"Nee-san!" Shouji screams and cries and thrashes in her arms.

She stares emotionlessly as Shouji rushed to hold his sister's torn body.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Shouji holds onto her desperately as the funeral progresses. He is broken and torn apart. His mother is lifeless standing next to his father.

"Nee-san…"

Keiko becomes nothing more than a name on the Memorial Stone.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"I'm going to become a medic-nin," Shouji tells her in their monthly visit to the Memorial Stone. "I want to save lives, not kill."

Kai protests and whines and throws a large tantrum. But he is still a child who has not seen war as they have.

But Nanashi knows that this is his goodbye to her.

"I'm sorry Nanashi."

Shouji has never called her by her full name before.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Her spring and summer has faded.


	4. Chapter 4 - Love

**Title:** Mirage of Kaleidoscopes

**Summary:** Life is a kaleidoscope full of mirrors and shards that twist and turn creating a mirage of beauty and colour and in the end; life is nothing more than a beautiful illusion, just like a kaleidoscope.

**Chapter Four:** **Love**

.

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>When love is in excess, it brings a man no honor, nor worthiness."<strong>_

_**―**__** Euripides**_

.

* * *

><p>The first time she meets Uchiha Itachi is after a solo assassination mission. He is young, not even two years old, and wandered off from his mother. She pays him no attention as she walks through the crowd of people who do not notice the faint blood stains on her clothes or the weapons hidden in her sleeves.<p>

She feels a tug on her shirt and looks down and she stares into black obsidian eyes that resemble her own.

"Mama? Where?"

He is calm and does not cry like ordinary children.

She smiles what she hopes is a gentle smile, she is not so far gone that she would resort to killing children. "What's your name?"

"Uchiha Itachi."

Nanashi nods and bends down till she is at his height. With two fingers her presses against his forehead. "And what are you doing so far from the compound Bocchan?"

Itachi scowls and rubs his forehead in the spot where she tapped, "Lost mama." His voice resembles a petulant child, so very different than the Itachi she knew in her other life.

"I'll take you home."

Itachi holds onto her hand with such blind trust that it makes her wonder it will be like to plunge a kunai into his throat.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

That first meeting spirals into several meetings with Mikoto-sama requesting her to watch over her only son during her free time. At first Nanashi is slightly annoyed but soon grows used to Itachi following after her like a second shadow.

He attempts to copy her movements with limbs to small and slow and delicate.

She smiles and laughs as she used to with Hotaru and Shouji and feels her heart grow light.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She is given her first seduction mission and the Hokage gives her four weeks to prepare for it. Kai rages on and on and barges into the Hokage's office demanding it to be cancelled. But Nanashi knows better, Konoha needs the information and only she can obtain it.

She bows and accepts and enrolls herself into the red light district in a neighbouring town.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The Okami is an old woman with traces of the elegance and beautiful she once possessed in her steps. Her face is wrinkled and her figure is shrunken.

"Forget your pride, forget dignity, and forget that you are a woman." Her smile is toothless and wicked and full of bitterness. "You are now an object to be polished, refined and sold."

Nanashi does exactly what is asked of her.

_Because she is nothing more than a tool._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Women are art in the eyes of men. We must create an illusion of beauty and grace."

Nanashi learns how to dance with ribbons, fans and twirl and spin silk and satin. She learns how to walk with elegance that makes her seems weak, submissive but desirable in the eyes of men. She learns the language of flowers and flower arrangement to send messages. She learns how to sing and tell tales and use her eyes to talk instead of her mouth. Instruments are placed in her hands and she learns how to play all of them, her favorite is the Gu Qin.

"A man does not like a woman who cannot do what his own wife cannot provide."

She learns seduction with words and how to spin lies of love and lust. She learns the art of tea and calligraphy and how to draw to please the eyes. She learns to tell apart the different shades of colours, the different smell of perfumes to use and the pieces of jewellery best fit.

"You must be prepared to have an answer to every question."

The Okami throws her into the library and tells her read and memorize. Her bright sharingan eyes help her and she reads and reads and memorizes all.

She practices and learns and memorizes till her feet bleeds, her hands cramps and her eyes begin to bleed red.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The Okami is smoking from her pipe when Nanashi is ushered into the room. She bows perfectly and delicately sits down.

"The Hokage has called you back. Congratulations you have become a first-class courtesan." The smile is mocking and full of bitter pity.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Her mission is to seduce a Cloud Ambassador in the Daimyo's court for information.

She approaches him with a coy smile and blushes accordingly when he moves closer to her. He is charmed by her and his fat face glows with anticipation and pride. She nods at his request to meet him in the night and shyly gives him the sakura kanzashi from her hair.

When night comes she is already at his door. He laughs loudly and ushers her inside. He offers her sake and she smiles shyly and drinks. He laughs as her body goes still and maneuvers her onto the bed. Her smile is sleepy as he climbs over her and moves to unravel her obi.

Her eyes flash red and the man chokes and falls onto the bed beside her.

"In the world of Tsukuyomi everything in controlled by me, _now tell me all you know_."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The council gushes over her achievement like rabid dogs and send her on even more. The information is priceless and her body is the exchange. But they do not know that she possess sharingan and they do not know nor understand that her body belongs to herself.

She is sent on more seduction and assassination missions and Kai is promoted to jounin and given a team of his own. He meets with her at their old training ground with his new team and complains to her and tries to include her in as much as he can.

Nanashi stares at the children who fight with words and not jutus and wonders if she was _**ever **_like that.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

On a whim she decides to go into sealing. She learns from the clan library and the council gives her lessons with the Sannin Jiraiya.

Jiraiya flirts and hits on her every time but nonetheless treats her coolly because he doesn't trust her and she does not trust him. She learns from him because she wants to and he teaches her because he cannot disobey the council or the Hokage.

"You learn faster than my other student," Jiraiya remarks.

Nanashi smiles because Jiraiya does not know anything true about her.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Nee-sama! Guess what I'm finally going on an A-rank mission!" Obito exclaims jumping in excitement.

"Even though stupid Kakashi is second in command of the team, we're going to Kannabi Bridge in a few weeks so I have to prepare!"

She freezes and her eyes lock on Obito's form. Her hands move for the kunai in her pouch and she stops.

"Nee-sama! When I come back I'll tell you all about it!"

He hugs her tightly and it takes all her restraint to not plunge a kunai into his neck.

"I love you Nee-sama!"

_**It takes everything in her to stop from killing him.**_

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Nanashi arrives back from another mission just in time to go see Obito and his team off. She nods at Minato and smiles at Rin and silently stares at Kakashi. Obito rushes for a hug. She gives him her blessings and wishes him best for the mission and presses a kiss to him forehead.

Obito smiles and laughs and fights with Kakashi who taunts him.

_It is the last kiss she will ever give to Uchiha Obito._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The council sends her onto another assassination mission.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

When she returns she is sent as backup to Kannabi Bridge.

Her arrival is greeted with shock and guilt and sorrow. Rin collapses into her arms crying and Kakashi turns away clutching his left eye.

Obito is dead.

Dead and gone.

Never to return.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Her return back to Konoha is forgotten under the sorrow and misery that clings to the village. Minato, Rin and Kakashi meet her in front of the Memorial Stone where she is bent down, her fingers tracing Hotaru's name and recent entry of Obito's name.

"Did he die smiling?"

Rin's voice chokes as she begins to cry.

"Yeah, like the idiot he is," Kakashi's voice comes out in a whisper, broken.

Nanashi does not say anything to comfort them nor does Minato.

"I'm sorry," Minato whispers as she walks past by them.

"Don't be."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She is seventeen and there is no one to celebrate her birthday.

Hotaru is dead.

Shouji runs.

She blows out the small candle.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The war continues and rages on.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Her lessons with Jiraiya come to an end and he is sent back to the front lines with the other two Sannin.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Her eyes bleed blood and her vision fades.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Shouji finds her in front of the Memorial Stone clutching at her eyes. He asks questions that she cannot answer and whisks her away in the middle of the night.

She smells moss, water and it reminds her of death.

Shouji does not know how to cure her. She smiles ironically, bitterly with a tingle of resentment.

"Mangenkyo," she whispers and tells him all he needs to know.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She does not know how long she has been in here and she does not care. Her fingers trace the pattern of rocks near her and she waits and waits and waits till Shouji come back.

This time he comes back smelling like blood and fear that cling to him.

Beside him she can hear Shinji's fearful whimpers.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Shinji screams and screams and fights back. He is adequate but Shouji has fought in a war where failure leads to death.

"Sharingan," Shouji whispers gleefully.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Nanashi counts the days that pass but time does not mean anything to her anymore.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Shouji cupped her face in his hands and kisses her above the brows and tells her that she will be fine.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Shinji cries and cries as he is dying, so very close, held at the very edge. Shouji staring into his red eyes that twist and turn and bleed into the Mangekyo.

Shouji plunges the kunai into Shinji's chest.

Nanashi can hear the gasping and desperation to suck in air before it is gone.

Only silence remains.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Her hands move and trace the bandages covering her face.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

It is a few days later that Shouji removes the bandages. The first thing she sees is his haggard appearance and Shinji's body near the edge of the large cave.

"Nana-chan…"

He kisses her deeply and she clutches onto his arm desperately.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Days later she has regained her strength and Shouji laughs and smiles and kisses her.

Then he presses a kunai into her hands and she knows.

"Kill me so Konoha and the clan never find out."

He smiles.

"Everything I have is yours."

She hones herself and charges.

"I love you Nana-chan."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She cries silently but no tears come, she cradles his dying form with gentleness that she did not even know she possessed.

Her eyes bleed red and she stares into his and takes everything, every piece of memory and knowledge he has to offer.

"_I love you."_

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The cave burns and she leaves one teammate and sibling less.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

When the guards near the gate see her they usher her to the hospital then the T&I.

She stays in the Torture and Interrogation Department for a week.

The same day she is released she is sent on another mission.

Konoha cannot afford any more losses.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Shouji is painted as a traitor.

Her fingers trace Shouji's young face in the team photo.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Minato makes a name for himself as a god in battle.

So does Nanashi.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The first time she uses her sealing jutsu it is with a group of chunin who accompanied her on a mission. The enemy shinobi attack from all corners and they are overwhelmed by the numbers.

With calm, quick movements she throws a scroll in the air and grasps the long white beaded necklace that appears.

"**Fuinjutsu: Sen-Hachi-Ju Jubaku Kekkai.**"

The beads break apart with a few hand signs they shoot towards the enemy like beams of light trapping them in motion. The team assigned to her watches in awe as all the enemy are captured in her jutsu and she charged with naginata in hand.

They follow quickly.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The council hears of her successes and jutsus and they decide to send her to the front lines with other shinobi.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"**Kasoku.**"

Nanashi disappears in a blur and reappears behind the enemy and stabs him in the back.

Her eyes glow with the redness of Mangekyo.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The clan is pleased that she has finally awakened the Sharingan.

"A bunch of fools," she scoffs and crumples the letter in her hand.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She is hailed as a prodigy and she is nominated by the clan as a potential candidate for the position of Hokage.

They call her a genius because her skills and jutsus cannot be copied with Sharingan.

But they do not know that she pieces them from memories of a life long gone.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Namikaze Minato joins her in the front lines soon and they demolish the enemy lines. He uses his famed Hiraishin and she uses her Kasoku. They hit the enemy before they even realize it.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"**Arashi no Sakkaku.**"

Her body duplicates itself and charges at the enemy team who charges blindly towards them.

Fools, she thinks.

She appears behind them and with a single wind jutsu, slices them into pieces.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The enemies whisper her name in fear and Minato's in awe.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

They are called back to Konoha at the same time.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The Clan elders demand that she challenge Minato for the right to be Hokage and to produce children for the clan.

She does neither.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Minato finds her in front of the Memorial Stone, tracing the names as always.

"You withdrew your application."

Nanashi does not pause as she answers, "I never wanted the position in the first place."

"You could have become Hokage, you have the skills."

"But I do not have the heart."

She stands and walks past by him.

"Be your Hokage, Namikaze Minato, may you be happy."

… _because she knows what is coming next._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

On her weekly visit to the Memorial Stone she finds Kakashi weeping. The rain falls hard on his fallen figure.

She holds the umbrella over his body and his face turns towards her and he holds her desperately and cries.

Finally she lets the umbrella go and lets the rain fall upon her face.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

It is on her eighteenth birthday when Shouji's mother visits her. She carries a brown box in her worn hands. Her eyes cold and tired and her smiles are full of bitter regret and sorrow.

"He would have wanted you to have this."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Her hands clutched the small, brightly wrapped box tightly and her eyes burn bright red, memorizing the words written on the card.

_**Happy Birthday,**_

_**I love you Nana-chan.**_

She wants to cry, but no tears come.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

They call her the Bakemono of Konoha.

A monster.

She laughs hysterically when she hears it from Kai.

Perhaps she is one.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Her eyes trace over all the letters Shouji wrote but never gave her. His confessions of love, so sweet, tender and passionate like burning flames.

It is as though he is still beside her along with Hotaru.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The hospitals are overfilled with the wounded and the dead.

There she finds little Itachi staring at a dead man's body, blood staining his small hands.

She bends down and covers his hands with her own and holds him while he cried.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Konoha becomes bright, warm and full of hope.

Minato is the bright, brilliant genius who defended the village and will continue to do so.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She is promoted to ANBU Captain and Itachi is enrolled in the academy.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The clan forgets about Shinji's disappearance.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

From a distance she sees bright red hair and she knows that it is Kushina.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She is still haunted by Hotaru and Shouji.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

… _I love you_


	5. Chapter 5 - Darkness

**Title:** Mirage of Kaleidoscopes

**Summary:** Life is a kaleidoscope full of mirrors and shards that twist and turn creating a mirage of beauty and colour and in the end; life is nothing more than a beautiful illusion, just like a kaleidoscope.

**Chapter 5:** **Darkness**

.

* * *

><p><em><strong>"In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present."<strong>_

_**― **__**Sir Francis Bacon**_

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Minato is now considered the defacto- Hokage and he requests her to be placed in his team as a bodyguard for him. The clan cannot refuse and reluctantly gives her into his hands.

Rin is happy and enthusiastic while Kakashi treats her with cold indifference with a hint of acknowledgement. All the while Minato smiles and pretends and laughs as though the days of war are behind them.

This is the most peace she has gotten since Shouji's death.

_**Ba-thump. Ba-thump. Ba-thump.**_

Her heart starts to beat once more.

Slowly but surely.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Now there was a new problem, Kakashi, the prodigy, the only heir of the Hatake Clan, the thief of the Sharingan eye and the boy who would someday grow up to be a bitter man.

_The boy who killed Obito_, Nanashi's mind whispers treacherously. She cannot forget Obito, the boy whom she raised and cared for, the boy whom she poured years of hard work into, the boy who was her brother and son in all but flesh and blood.

But then she remembers what Obito will become and she cannot do anything for him anymore.

The wheels of fate have already turned and spun their webs, there is no way to break free.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The clan elders forbid her to teach Kakashi the usage of the Sharingan.

Minato asks her to do the opposite.

Between the duty to the clan or the loyalty to one's kage.

Nanashi has never liked the clan who pushed and pushed and pushed.

_And will someday dig their own grave._

But she does not like Minato either.

_The Yellow Flash of Konoha, the fastest shinobi, the man who could not save anyone important to him. _

So she chooses the lesser of two evils.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Kakashi struggles with the depletion of his chakra. He groans in pain but stands nonetheless, tall and strong, a mere shadow of what he will be in the future, and charges at her.

Nanashi dodges and flings several kunai at him.

He manages to dodge them all but one pins him by his shirt to the trunk of a tree.

"No good enough."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"I want to make a lightening jutsu," Kakashi says. "I want your help."

Nanashi raises an eyebrow and comments on how cocky he is for being seven years younger than her.

She ruffles his hair in the way she remembers her father from her other life used to do to her. She laughs and agrees to help him.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Lightning is strong and fast and deadly, Nanashi muses as she watched Kakashi's one hundred and thirteth failure that day.

Kakashi is like lightning, fast, strong and waits for the perfect moment to strike.

"Chidori," she says.

Kakashi turns to face her with a questioning expression on his face.

"A thousand birds," she continues. "Your lightening reminds me of that."

Her hands reach out trying to grasp the streams of sunlight piercing through the thick leaves of the tree.

"Like thousands of bright bird that come together."

Kakashi stares at his hands.

"And they sing for victory, for joy, for what's been lost."

_They sing for you._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The next to go is Rin.

Nanashi knows this.

She has always known this.

But it does not change the fact that she hates it and want to stop it.

_Hotaru is gone…._

_Shouji is gone…. _

She doesn't.

_There's no reason for her to stop the inevitable._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Rin is smart, Rin is lucky, Rin is happy and joyful.

Nanashi hates her.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She requests a mission that will send her far away from Konoha.

From Rin.

From Kakashi.

From Minato.

A mission that will send her from any more misery.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She still returns too early and she sent as backup for Kakashi and Rin.

The Sandaimei looks at her with such trust that she almost shows her disgust over it.

_Don't trust me. Don't place your expectations in me. Don't…._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She arrives to see the birth of a monster.

The chidori crackles and sings and lights bursts from Kakashi's hand and he charges. Blood spurts forth and Rin, _sweet, precious, always beloved __**Rin**_, stands tall with a smile. Kakashi with his arm pinned in Rin's chest screams and Nanashi knows what will happen next.

The light in Rin's eyes fade and her chakra grows smaller and smaller like a precious light so fragile and beautiful snuffed out by the darkness. Kakashi screams and Nanashi knows, knows that this is the birth of a horrible monster.

The slaughter is more brutal than she can image as Obito charges out, decked in the clothing of a monster. She does not stop him as he fights and kills and slaughters.

In all the carnage, she slips in and lifts Kakashi's prone form and lifts him over her shoulder. Nanashi turns around and her eyes meet the one remaining eye of the boy she once watched over.

He meets her eyes and she can see the widening of the pin-wheeled sharingan. She notices the raising of his arm that wants to reach out for her and for the protection she can offer.

"_Nee-san…"_

Nanashi turns away and without looking back, she runs.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Leaving behind the man-boy whom she taught, raised and watched, she left behind a monster.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Kakashi is an emotional wreck as he weeps and cries and blames himself.

Nanashi bristles at his weakness.

She has never cried.

Not for Hotaru.

Not for Shouji.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Kakahi holds onto her with a desperation that she finds amusing.

Nanashi lets him because she has no reason not to.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

It is her birthday today, she is eighteen now.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Three months later, Minato is officially named the Hokage.

His coronation is one filled with light and hope and the spirit of everlasting flames that burn.

It is the beginning of the end.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The war ends in another five months.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Konohagakure is filled with joy, happiness and relief from the end of the war.

Nanashi mocks them on the inside because she knows the true horrors that will follow.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The village prospers and Minato removes her from ANBU and stations her as one of his personal guards along with Genma Shiranui, Raido Namiashi and Iwashi Tatami.

He places his trust in her and teaches her his special jutsus the Rasengan and Hiraishin.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She meets Tsunade the night she decides to drink at her old team's training field. She can almost imagine that Yukimura-sensei, Hotaru and Shouji are beside her.

Then she hears leaves rustling and turns to see the Slug Princess of Konoha drunk and delirious.

Tsunade laughs and helps herself to the sake bottles and lets her tears fall.

Nanashi feels a close sense of kinship with this woman who is drunk and blabbering about her lost brother and lover.

This woman who has lost just as she has.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

After that first night meeting, Tsunade seeks her out more often to drink with and imparts some healing jutsus to her as well.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"I have no idea why you didn't join the medic department, your chakra control is perfect," Tsunade mutters as she signed work reports and drank sake.

Nanashi smiles bitterly.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The night Orochimaru defects, Tsunade finds her and weeps into her arms like a child.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Tsunade packs up a week later and sneaks away in the night with her apprentice Shizune, her dead lover's niece.

Tsunade runs from Konoha, from the memories that haunt her.

"Goodbye," Nanashi whispered as she stared at Tsunade's fading form in the distance as the fierce winds blew and the sun began to rise.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Minato is full of smiles and his happiness is contagious to the point of everyone laughing and smiling as he enters the room.

Nanashi bares a blank, monotonous face as Minato tells her about Kushina's pregnancy.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Mikoto-sama becomes pregnant once more.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Nanashi pushes herself to the bones. Till her muscles ache and her body covered in bruises.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She blows into the medical department like a raging fire in the wild.

Nanashi is the first to invent the attachment and healing jutsu that can be used in the field of combat.

A thin golden thread that forms around a thin needle made of pure chakra. The thread knits and threads the damaged nervous, bones, muscles, tissues together and connects them to one another.

The medical department hails her as the second coming of the Slug Princess but Nanashi laughs because she is nothing but a fake and a copycat.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She does not teach any of her jutsus to anyone because she does not want anyone to be a fake like her.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Kushina grows rounder with her child and Minato gives her the missions to guard the fiery haired woman.

"Nice to meet you, dattebane!"

Nanashi is at a loss for words towards the bright, energetic woman who laughs and smiles and lives as though she did not kill and maim and slaughter.

A part of her wishes that she could be more like Kushina.

_Who found light in all that __**darkness**__._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The days pass by peacefully, and for a while, she is content – and maybe just slightly happy.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Nanashi always wakes up before Kushina does and makes breakfast – healthy food, but occasionally, more often than she'd like, ramen.

"This is delicious, dattebane! Just as good as Ichiraku ramen!"

"Please don't each so much, Kushina-san, you'll get fat."

The woman waved her hand, "Don't worry about the small details Nana-chan, ramen is the food of the Gods! The Ramen Gods will make sure that I keep my figure!"

"Kushina-san, eating too much ramen is not good for the baby," Nanashi said softly while drinking her tea.

"Bah! My baby loves ramen or I wouldn't be craving it so much!"

Nanashi smiled, "With your love for ramen I wouldn't be surprised if you named your child after it."

She was mildly surprised when Kushina dropped her chop sticks and stood abruptly and slammed her hands against table top.

"You're a genius Nana-chan!"

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Hello, Nanashi-nee-chan," Itachi greeted softly, he's small hands clutching her own.

She bends down to his level and pokes him in the forehead with her two fingers and smiles gently.

"How about we go get some dango, Itachi?"

He nods and they walk side by side, her larger hands grasping his own.

Side by side.

Underneath the bright sun.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"I can't take it anymore!" Minato yelled as he harshed slammed the Hokage stamp onto the piece of paper.

Nanashi silently organized the remaining piles as Minato ranted about the unfairness of paperwork.

"– I knew something was up when Sandaimei offered me this job so quickly!" Minato lamented as he clutched his blonde locks.

Outside of the room, Nanashi could hear Genma chuckling at Minato's predicament and she glanced at Minato's forlorn face and laughed softly.

"Ah! Nanashi! You laughed! It's the first time I heard you laugh, it makes you look very nice, you should do it more often," Minato complimented with a bright smile.

Nanashi blinked and smiled sharply, "Hokage-sama, please don't think that flattery will get me to do your paper work for you." She gestured towards the organized pile.

"There are more for you when you are done, Hokage-sama," she bowed, "Please excuse me."

When she closed the door, she heard Minato cry in indignation.

And without noticing, she smiled a true smile – bright and beautiful.

_The smile that embodied a life left behind._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

On one of her weekly visit to the memorial stone, she bumps into Kakashi. She had often met him in the past train him and still did – just less than before. But other than that one rainy day where she held him as he cried under the rain, they had never met in here.

Gently, she placed the flowers down and pressed her hands together in a prayer and Kakashi stood over her, a gentle presence.

The two of them spent the rest of the afternoon there, silently but at peace.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Fugaku-sama, I am honoured by your offer," Nanashi said calmly as she bent down in a bow. Fugaku nodded stiffly and Mikoto gave an encouraging smile to the woman who always watched her little Itachi.

"Itachi is no doubt a prodigy and we expect that he may activate his sharingan soon and he will be in your care," Fugaku said. Nanashi simply nodded and waited for his next words.

"… My son… the Elders of our clan are worried…. But he is only a boy…." Fugaku's few words displayed more of his worry than he ever showed to anyone, bar his wife.

"I understand Fugaku-sama, I will protect him to the best of my abilities," she said.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Nana-chan, Minato and I decided to name my baby Naruto – for Maelstorm, not the fish cake," Kushina exclaimed happily.

Nanashi smiled and nodded as Kushina chattered on about what her little boy would look like.

"I hope he has Minato's hair," Kushina remarked gently as her hands patted her enlarged stomach. "I always loved Minato's hair, it's bright and sunny and beautiful. I think it'll be perfect for my little Naruto."

_Yes_, Nanashi thinks as she glanced at Kushina from the corner of her eye, _your boy will be as bright as the sun and just as deadly_.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She turns twenty and she spend the day smiling as Kushina hosts a surprise party for her.

It's the first time she does not spend a birthday along.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She finally found her light in the darkness.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

_But nothing lasts forever._


	6. Chapter 6 - Loss

**Title:** Mirage of Kaleidoscopes

**Summary:** Life is a kaleidoscope full of mirrors and shards that twist and turn creating a mirage of beauty and colour and in the end; life is nothing more than a beautiful illusion, just like a kaleidoscope.

**Chapter 6: Loss**

.

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>Was it hard?" I ask. "Letting go?"<strong>_

"_**Not as hard as holding on to something that wasn't real." **_

― _**Lisa Schroeder**_.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Konbanwa, Nana-nee-chan," Itachi greeted softly, a small smile on his lips.

Nanashi smiles back as well, she always seems to meet Itachi during her shifts at the hospital.

"How are you today Bocchan?" Nanashi asks as she sits beside him.

Itachi turns to face her and his smile is beaming, and for a moment Nanashi is taken back by the amount of joy displayed in his face.

"I'm getting a little sibling soon," he states, his voice full of awe.

She says nothing as Itachi rambles on and on, his excitement of his new sibling clearly shown. It is July, the weather is hot but not overwhelmingly so, and the sky is blue without a cloud in sight and the sun bright and warm.

And the month when Uchiha Sasuke will be born.

The beginning of the end starts here, she thinks bitterly.

Her fingers weave through Itachi's hair and she presses to fingers to his forehead and laughs as he pouts.

_The beginning of the end of all we know._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She is walking on the streets with Kushina and Biwako, as a bodyguard for both women when she first meets Uchiha Sasuke.

Kushina is over the moons about her baby and Biwako laughs in an exasperated manner. Nanashi walks behind the two women, keeping a sharp eye out for any sort of enemies.

"Mikoto, is that the baby!" Kushina exclaims as she presses her face close to the bundle in Mikoto's arms. Nanashi walks closer and peers down from Kushina's shoulders.

A little face with tiny hands and a full head of black hair and Nanashi can faintly register Kushina sigh of wonder. She can hardly pay any attention to the rest of the conversation as she is enraptured with the baby.

This would be the boy who would throw the whole world into chaos, this little baby who was innocent of all the evils of the world.

Biwako drags Kushina away and Nanashi follows after them, her mind slightly dizzy.

_Uchiha Sasuke who will kill and maim and destroy. _

Yet all she can see is that little baby with chubby cheeks and bright dark eyes.

So innocent and precious.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The rest of the few months remaining are spent preparing the large apartment for the arrival of its newest member. The baby room is painted a soft shade of blue with an oak crib situated in the centre of the room. There was a bookshelf with baby books, a changing area and toy boxes filled to the brim with soft cuddly toys and imitation ninja tools.

As the day of the delivery looms ever so closely, Nanashi is tasked with finding suitable guards for Kushina during her delivery.

Minato does not want either her or Kakashi to be there, stating that they were not ready to be tasked with something as delicate as this. Nanashi scoffs internally at the idea of **her** not being ready but nods because _she knows what is coming_.

She and Kakashi spend two weeks deciding on a retinue of six ANBU guards stationed around one of caves located in the village. There would be seals and addition guards added farther away but not that much to make it obvious.

The morning that Kushina and Minato leave, Nanashi makes them breakfast and smiles and laughs with them for the last time before the two disappear in a gathering of leaves.

_Never to return_.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Nanashi sits there beside the large table nursing a cup of tea as she counts the seconds, minutes, hours, that has passed and when the sun finally sets and the sky turns a bright shade of orange, she knows that it will be soon.

She sits there and she waits, waits, and waits, till the sky is pitch dark and the stars shine like small little lanterns across the black canvas.

_Waiting, waiting, waiting_.

And then –

Chaos.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She gasps for breathe as her eyes forcefully turn red and her body sags beneath the dark, heavy chakra.

Never has Nanashi felt such fear in both of her lives and she gasps as her lungs choke and her eyes begin to tear. It is fear – absolute fear and she stabs herself in the arm to break free.

Tearing open a window she sees the large figure of the Kyuubi in the distance and the utter destruction it has caused.

Building falling apart, people dying and the red, red blood spilt forward like a river.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Nanashi sprints down the path, ignoring the screams of civilians and the cries of children and ran towards the figure of the fox.

There, on the front battle field, the shinobis cry and scream like children and those with strength falter and are unable to do anything.

But Nanashi charges forward not because of loyalty, or love, or to protect, but because she does not want to die again.

And everything and everyone fades as she stands beneath the looming figure of the fox and she smiles sardonically.

A monster against a monster.

Nanashi laughs madly and she charges, her eyes spinning rapidly and the ethereal figure of the Susanoo appears, white and armoured and holds the writhing form of the fox in its hold.

_Let it begin_.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Konoha shinobis are quite something, Nanashi muses as she steadies her breathing, still continuing to feed chakra to the Susanoo.

Seeing her fighting, all the other shinobi followed as well, with her in the center of it all.

The black flames of the Amaterasu spreads through the forest and the fox fights against the Susanoo, while the other shinobis throw jutsu after jutsu at the fox, and the Will of Fire burns on continuously.

Nanashi smiles and feels blood in her mouth, and she coughs and laughs as the blood hits against the dirt ground. She feels medical chakra flowing into her chakra coils and she grimaces in pain as she feeds more chakra towards the fading image of Susanoo.

She was not strong enough, for all her fame and jutsu and eyes, she is still weak compared to Minato, to Jiraiya, to Shouji, to Hotaru, she was still too weak.

Panting, her hands grasping for the light and her vision began to blacken and the light of the Susanoo fading.

And then –

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Her eyes open and all she can see is a blurry orange face.

She feels herself being carried and one eye gazes down at her face.

Breathing deeply, she struggles to stay awake.

"_Sleep, Nee-san, sleep…"_

And everything fades once more.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Nanashi wakes in the hospital, bandaged and worn, with Kakashi sleeping beside her on the chair.

For a brief moment she wonders if everything that happened was just a dream.

But she remembers the destruction, the chakra, and the colour orange and she knows that it isn't.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She does not register the loss till the aftermath of the attack.

Kushina is dead. Minato is dead. Shouji is dead. Hotaru is dead.

There is no one left except for her.

Nanashi feels emptier than ever.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Kakashi comes to visit her every day and the two of them stay silent throughout the visit.

Till one day.

"Minato-sensei and Kushina-san are dead," he whispers brokenly. And all Nanashi can see is that boy on the day Obito died.

And she holds him in her arms as he cries.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The Third Hokage visits her a month after the aftermath of the attack and she is still bedridden from chakra exhaustion.

To be frank, the man looks exhausted and wears his grief behind a mask. Nanashi can understand his pain well; she knows what it feels like to love someone so deeply only to lose them.

They spend the time discussing about the past, about the present, about the future, and the empty site of Hokage.

"Minato is dead, Jiraiya has left the village, there is no one else but you who can become Godaimei," Sarutobi Hiruzen states calmly.

Nanashi knows that, she knows but she does not want the position of Hokage.

"Think about it, Nanashi."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The memorial stones holds more names than it last did, and she traces Hotaru's name along with Shouji's, Obito's, Kushina's and Minato's. All of them dead and gone.

But she feels no pain, only emptiness, and she wonders why the loss does not hurt her anymore.

And she wonders if all of it was even real.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The village moves on.

The destruction is being repaired.

The people are buried and mourned.

But Nanashi is still stagnant.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The Third Hokage takes her and Kakashi to meet Naruto. Kakashi is quiet, tired, and so broken over Minato and Kushina's loss. The Third Hokage also wears his grief over the death of his wife.

The two males cannot bear to look at Naruto's small form and turn their attention to other things. But Nanashi steps closer and holds Naruto in her arms, and places him at the crook of her arm. And the small but heavy weight, so warm and delicate, lays there. Naruto opens his eyes and regards her with curious, innocent eyes.

_Hotaru, Shouji, Obito, Kushina, Minato… all dead, dead and gone. _

She holds out a finger and his small hands clutch around it.

_Blood, so much blood, it won't wash off._

He coos and smiles, bright and beautiful.

"_I love you, Nana…" _

Then he cries.

And it is the most beautiful sound she has ever heard.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

For a brief few weeks she takes over as Hokage for Hiruzen as he mourns with his children. The Uchiha Elders sees this as a chance to display their powers and authority over the rest of the village and they plot and plot.

Nanashi works from the crack of dawn till the moon sets the sky begins to lighten. There is much to do, papers to sign and contracts to negotiate.

All in all, it's quite the headache but it must be done.

She wonders why anyone would ever want this job.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Politics is messy, dirty and Nanashi despises it.

As she is filling in for the Third, the council decides to meet. All the clan heads gather and the civilian representative are also present, and the three counsellors of the Third Hokage. The damages, cost of repair and so on are discussed till the final issue is breeched.

"What about the Kyuubi?" Danzo questioned.

With this the entire council freezes and the civilians display their anger over the fox and the clan heads are all silently plotting and thinking.

Nanashi internally sighs at the Third Hokage's decision to announce Naruto's condition to the adult population of Konoha. Sometimes she wonders if age has made the God of Shinobi weak, but she removes that thought as fast as it come because the only God that shinobis would respect is one who builds their path in the blood of foes and allies alike. For all his age and kindness and mercy, the Third Hokage is still a God, revered and respected. What his reasons are for revealing such a delicate fact, Nanashi does not know, but all she cares is that he has left her a large task to deal with.

There are suggestions thrown across the council room.

"Kill him!" This one was widely encouraged by the civilian population.

"Turn him to a weapon for Konoha." This was Danzo's suggestion, supported by Koharu and Homura.

"Have him be adopted into one of the clans." This was the opinion of the clan heads, especially the Uchiha and Hyuuga.

Rationally, it would be most beneficial to have Naruto be trained as a weapon for Konoha's uses or adopted into one of the clans to breed for loyalty towards the village. To exploit the Jinchuuriki for all that he is worth.

But Nanashi remembers the feeling of that heavy but light bundle laying in her arms, and the sensation of his warm skin against her hands, and feel of his small, delicate hand clutching around her fingers.

And she can no longer decide.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Konoha was once beautiful at night, before the Kyuubi attack. Now it is only a village in ruins and covered in mourning and tears.

She sighed as she took a deep sip of her sake cup. These days it seemed as though the only escape from all this was found through the bottle, no wonder Tsunade drank so much.

As she sits there on top of the Hokage statues, drinking and looking at the moon, beneath the night sky, she allows herself to mourn for what she has lost.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"You do not want the position of Hokage, do you Nanashi," Hiruzen states as he stamps another paper. After three month of mourning, the Third Hokage has finally returned and Nanashi knows that the Jinchuuriki Issue will be raised again, seeing as she did not make any decisions.

Nanashi stands before him, and nods, "Forgive me Sandaimei, but I believe that there are more suitable choices than me."

Jiraiya, Tsunade, anyone but an Uchina, went unsaid between them.

"Minato liked you, he said that you reminded him of himself in a way," Hiruzen muses, "I never saw it till now." He pierces her with his stare and smiles, "But, you remind of Hashirama-sama more."

Nanashi says nothing but raises an eyebrow in surprise.

"In his later years," Hiruzen amends and his eyes gain a faraway look, as though he is back in the past. "He had the same look of loss in his eyes as you do, I never really noticed it as a child but when I grew older I saw how much being Hokage hurt him. Tobirama-sensei said that he couldn't forget someone and I never knew till both of them passed."

She feels as though he is looking into her soul but she stands still as the Third stares into her eyes.

"He couldn't forget Uchiha Madara," Hiruzen sighs, "Hashirama-sama was always a sentimental one and the loss of that one person haunted him till he died."

Nanashi bows and turns and walks towards the door.

"Much like you, Nanashi."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Sometimes Nanashi wonder if everything was real.

If her losses were really losses.

But then she remembers the love, the hate, the sorrow and the bitterness.

Now, she knows that everything she has lost was real and true.

_And this realization hurts her more than anything._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

One by one we all fall down into despair, to hatred, to sorrow, to _life_.

And we wait till one day a Hero will come to save us.

Till that day.


	7. Chapter 7 - Hero

**Title:** Mirage of Kaleidoscopes

**Summary:** Life is a kaleidoscope full of mirrors and shards that twist and turn creating a mirage of beauty and colour and in the end; life is nothing more than a beautiful illusion, just like a kaleidoscope.

**Chapter 7: Hero**

.

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>Great heroes need great sorrows and burdens, or half their greatness goes unnoticed. It is all part of the fairy tale." <strong>_

― _**Peter S. Beagle, **__**The Last Unicorn**_

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Not surprising, the condition of her Sharingan is brought to light.

The Mangenkyo Sharingan.

Nanashi is surprised that it took the council six months after the attack to bring it up. And of course, it is Danzo who does so and looks at her with shrewd, calculating eyes – as though he is measuring the worth of her life.

Fugaku has no choice to be give up the valuable information pertaining to the Mangenkyo Sharingan and the council all listen rapidly with interest. Her eyes would become another weapon for Konoha to use till she goes blind.

But what they do not know is that her eyes are eternal, given to her by a man who loved her with a burning passion like the sun.

The villagers gossip, _"What if she becomes like Uchiha Madara, what then?"_

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The Third Hokage solves this problem by naming her his 'Successor' in case he dies.

The Uchiha Clan Elders fall on the offer like rabid dogs and pushes her into the path to leadership once more. Nanashi hates it but she knows that it cannot be avoided and the Third knows this as well.

The Uchiha craves power and if you do not feed a rabid dog once in a while it will bite.

And the bite hurts more than the bark.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

When she meets Naruto again it is to save him from his death. The Hokage sends her and a group of Chuunin to the one of the many recently built orphanages. And when she rushes inside, all she sees is the matron with a kunai in her hand about to stab the enfant in the crib.

And Nanashi strikes and blood splatters across the floor and her face. Slowly, she raised a hand to wipe the blood from her eyes and lets the Chuunins deal with body. She walks slowly towards the crib and looks at the child inside.

Blond, bright hair and whisker marks embedded on his cheeks. The babe's face is scrunched up as he cries and weeps and Nanashi feels her heart weeping alongside him. Cautiously, her hands reach in and she holds the sobbing enfant in her arms. Naruto's face is scrunched up as he cries and cries, and Nanashi notes that he is terribly thin much like how she once looked.

A flash of hatred flows through her heart at the treatment towards this boy. For all her faults and bitterness, Nanashi had not fallen so long as to kill an infant. Especially not one who would bear the weight of all of Konoha's sins and hatred. She pats Naruto's back and hums a song from a life she lost and smiles gently as he falls asleep once more.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The Third sighs as the fifth attempt to assassinate Naruto came from his secretary – former, he adds in his mind as the screeching woman was escorted out of office.

Nanashi stands before him, armful of a screaming baby, awaiting his orders.

There was no other choice, to keep Naruto alive; there was only one thing to do.

"Nanashi, from this day you are dismissed from ANBU till further notice."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Nanashi stood outside of the apartment door Minato and Kushina once lived. In her arms, Naruto laughs happily, joyous to be outside.

A part of her want to go in and allow Naruto to see the remnants of the lives of his parents, the proof that Minato and Kushina existed, that they loved him. But the other parts want to keep the apartment locked up so the memories of the dead couple would stay there forever, eternally remembered in her mind.

Sighing, she turns the key and pushes the door open.

Her eyes wander as she gingerly steps into through the door way.

Everything is as it was before. Minato's jacket is still spread over the couch. The seats of the table are still unarranged. A bright orange blanket with a red ribbon tied around it laying on the coffee table. The feel of Minato and Kushina's chakra. Everything remains untouched and unchanged as though time remained still her. Nanashi feels her eyes water and she looks down and smiles at Naruto, "Welcome home, Naruto."

_Welcome home._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Nanashi has never been thankful for her life as a kunoichi and tool for Konoha till this moment. She walks around the carpeted room, patting Naruto gently and absently humming a song as his loud cries silenced into small whimpers.

Placing the blonde infant back into his crib, Nanashi smiled gently as her fingers wove through his soft blonde locks. Naruto leaned into her touch and one of his chubby little fist curls around her finger. Her other hand traced the chubbiness of his cheek, the little dimples on his elbows and the soft curve of his stomach and Nanashi counts his toes and fingers as she smiles brighter than she ever has in this life.

Naruto is such a precious child – all bright and warm like the sun. Nanashi feels herself growing to love him, it scares her after all she has lost, to love someone again. But Naruto is so innocent, so trusting, so _pure_ for the sins the world has condemned on him.

And Nanashi cannot help but want to protect him from all the evils and hatred.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Di'gan!" Naruto exclaimed as he clapped his chubby hands.

It was nice day and Nanashi decided to take Naruto outside to one of the more isolated training grounds. Deciding to practice her throwing skills, Nanashi began to throw shuriken, kunai and senbon till each of them forced the Konoha spiral. Naruto was a very enraptured with it all and decided that he wanted to try as well.

Crawling slowly to the way of his caretaker, after finally mastering the art of crawling a month at 11 months old. He plopped himself down beside Nanashi and raised his arms in the universal gesture for 'pick-me-up' and yelled, "Ub!"

Nanashi smiled and indulged the near toddler in his request and pressed a kiss to his nose as Naruto giggled. Naruto reached for a kunai only to be stopped by Nanashi's hand and she gently pried his fist from the kunai handle and shook her head.

Seeing that he was about to throw a tantrum, Nanashi quickly added, "Not yet Naruto… but how about I treat you to some ramen."

And no surprise, Naruto took to eating ramen like a pro.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Today was Naruto's birthday, October 10th, and Nanashi awoke at the crack of dawn to Kakashi standing nervously in front of the door way.

She glanced at the clock and ushered the tired teen inside. Kakashi looked even worse than when Obito and Rin both died and Nanashi felt a rush of love and pity for the teen. Placing a tea cup in front him, Nanashi said nothing as she began making a special breakfast for Naruto's first birthday.

Kakashi remained situated in the chair, drinking tea, till he jumped in surprised at the loud wail that echoed throughout the apartment.

Nanashi left the kitchen and returned with a happy Naruto in her arms and placed him in his baby chair before moving back to breakfast. Naruto clutched a stuffed dog in his hand and stared at Kakashi with wide blue eyes and Kakashi flinched.

Naruto squealed in delight and pointed at Kakashi and back at the stuffed dog.

"Doffie!" he squealed as Nanashi giggled at Kakashi's bewildered face.

It was the first time since the attack that either had spent a good morning.

For the rest of the day, Nanashi and Kakashi spent the day inside with Naruto, eating and drinking and playing ninja games designed for children.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Ramen!" Naruto yelled at the tender age of one year old and some weeks.

Nanashi blinked in surprise at Naruto's first, clear and precise word.

"Ramen!" Naruto demanded, slamming his hands against his the table attached to his baby seat.

She smiled and laughed and remembered a woman who red haired who wanted the same thing.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Naruto jumped in his seat in excitement as Kakashi entered the apartment from the window and sat down as Nanashi served a simple Japanese breakfast.

"Doggie!" Naruto squealed as he raised his arms, asking for Kakashi to pick him up from his baby seat. Kakashi complied and held the toddler rather awkwardly as Naruto decided to experiment on Kakashi's gravity defying hair.

Nanashi watched with amusement as Naruto decided to make Kakashi's lap into his permanent seat for the morning. Kakashi watched with awe as Naruto laughed and smiled and giggled in his presence and Nanashi knew all too well what Kakashi must have felt. For them whose trade in life is murder and walked a path of blood of the damned and the innocent, Naruto was a breath of fresh air, a beacon of light in the darkness, someone who could not smell the blood, see the stains, a little boy who was untainted by their lives.

_How could they not be enraptured by him? Love him? Adore him? _

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

When Fugaku and Mikoto ask her to bring Naruto over for a play date, Nanashi complies because she remembers Kushina and how much she adored Mikoto. Itachi is clearly excited to be able to spend time with her and Sasuke at the same time. When she arrives with Naruto in her arms, Itachi pulls on the sleeves of her formal kimono and leads her inside.

Nanashi placed Naruto down and watched as he and Sasuke regarded other with curiosity. Soon laughter fills the room and Nanashi finds herself smiling at the sight of Naruto and Sasuke playing with one another. Itachi sits close to the two toddlers, like a silent shadow. Nanashi leaves the room and sits with Fugaku and Mikoto.

"Perhaps, they will grow to become great comrades in the future," Fugaku remarks to her with a sharp glance.

Mikoto nods and gives her a tight smile before leaving. Fugaku stares at her silently and sips his tea, "The Jinchuuriki will bring power to the Uchiha Clan, it would be best to have him tied with a child his age." Nanashi freezes and the cup in her hand shatters. Killing intent fills the air and she pierces Fugaku with a cold glare.

"His name is Naruto," she hissed and rose gracefully. Gently she picked Naruto up and ignored the cries of both toddlers and walked out of the large house.

Mikoto gives her an apologetic look before ushering Itachi and Sasuke back into the house.

"You are an Uchiha, the Successor to the Third, but remember, you have a duty to your clan above anything else," Fugaku reminded.

Nanashi never takes Naruto back again.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Kakashi spends more time in the apartment with her and Naruto and Naruto has taken a great liking to his 'Doggie' friend.

During one of Kakashi's visits, Nanashi loses control of herself.

Naruto is laughing as he pulls at Kakashi's fingers and smiles as Nanashi bends down to ruffle his hair.

"Mama!" Naruto calls out happily. Nanashi pauses and Kakashi becomes tense. And –

Slap.

Naruto stares at her with large, hurt eyes and bursts out in tears. Kakashi holds Naruto in his arms and pins her with accusatory eyes.

"I am not your mother."

_I am not Kushina. You are not my son. Naruto is not my flesh, not my blood, only a duty to be fulfilled._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

After that incident Naruto does not call her 'Mama' again and instead stares at her with wide eyes every time she is near.

Nanashi cannot help but feel pain from the silence and wonders if Naruto will ever be joyful again. Then she remembers the future she once saw and hides away her concerns and fears and pretends as though nothing is wrong.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"I'm sorry to call you back to service so soon Nanashi, but the council are pressing me to use you for battle against Kirigakure," the Third announced sombrely. Nanashi's fists clench and she sees Naruto's bright smile and wonder what will happen to him. "Naruto… what about Naruto… who will take care of him?" she asked, unable to keep the worry from her voice.

"ANBU will take care of him while you are gone."

Nanashi's hands tremble as she takes the document from the Hokage's desk and she bows.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She kisses the sleeping toddler on the forehead and holds him close.

It might be the last time she sees this precious boy.

_Goodbye, Naruto._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The Bloody Mist is a fitting name for Kirigakure. Nanashi covers her nose at the stench of blood that permeates the very air and she feels the other ANBU members tense at the sight of dozens of bodies lined up in piles.

Nanashi does not care much for these people but she hates the stench of blood. It brings back too many memories she wants to remain hidden and locked up in her mind.

She stops midway in the Monkey Leap and lands on the ground. Her eyes widen as she stares at the body of the small little babe and all she can see is Naruto, dead and cold and covered in red. And her eyes flash and turn and spin as she burns the village of their target into ash. The Kaguya clan had passed here without a doubt.

As the rest of her team is busy with their respective assignments, Nanashi jumps down below and gathers the little bundle into her arm. So light and heavy, so cold and warm, and the stench of death clung to the newborn.

She digs a grave with her bare hands because it would be an insult to do so with a jutsu. A life that hasn't been lived to the fullest, a tiny flame snuffed out, a future erased and shattered. Nanashi wraps the bloody bundle in a cloth and gently places it into the hole. She prays deep in her mind as she pours dirt upon the bundle.

_O merciful God, take pity on the soul of this forgotten child, lead this child to the Kingdom above. _

Nanashi weeps for the first time in her life.

She weeps for a child, a babe, whom she has never known.

_A life, so precious and fragile, snuffed out. _

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

When Nanashi and her team return to Konoha, they carry the stench of blood and death back with them. They are ANBU, they have done things, seen things, that were gruesome, disgusting, immoral and utterly unhuman – they were used to all the slaughters of war, but it did not mean that it haunted them any less.

Nanashi returns to the apartment and the ANBU members stationed there disappear. Tiredly, she walks through the room and gazes upon Naruto's sleeping form. She pressed her hand against his tiny chest and feels the rising and falling and sighs with relief.

She would protect this boy even if it would cost her life.

This boy who knowingly became the sun of her life.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Naruto wakes up and when he sees Nanashi, he bursts out in tears and reaches his arms towards her. Nanashi picks him up as Naruto wraps his small arms around her neck. He cries and weeps and leaves snot on her shirt, but Nanashi simply smiles as she gently rubs his back.

"Mama!"

This time she replies by kissing his nose and tossing the toddler up before hugging him close to her chest.

"Yes, Naruto, Mama is back."

_I'll never leave you again, my little boy._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Kakashi comes more often, along with Kai, whom Nanashi meets one day in one of the isolated training ground. Kai is grown, more old, more mature, more worn and tired, not the same boy whom she and Shouji once protected.

The Inuzuka teen laughs and smiles with Naruto and Nanashi watches as his eyes grow bright. Kai is no longer a child; he is a shinobi of Konoha, entrenched in the bitterness of war and murder. Covered in blood, he is no long someone whom she can protect when he is already gone so deep.

"Ane-san, when Shouji-nii-san died… he… did he die happy?" _Did he die for you?_

Nanashi strokes the hair of the teen and smiles bitterly, "He died for what he believed in Kai."

_Yes, he died for me, lived for me, gave all his love to me. _

Kai weeps as he kneels before the Memorial Stone.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Tou-chan!" Naruto squealed as he rushed towards Kakashi with still wobbly legs. Since Naruto's meeting with Kai and his ninken – Touma, he has taken to calling Kai as "Doggie-jii-chan!" and redubbed Kakashi as "Tou-chan." Kakashi looked pained when Naruto first addressed him as that and Nanashi almost feared that the teen would distance himself from Naruto. But he didn't, instead Kakashi humoured the blonde toddler and allowed Naruto the illusion of a family.

"Kaa-chan! Up!" Nanashi smiled as she placed the metal soup spoon onto the side and picked Naruto up and situated him on her hip.

"Ungry!" Naruto exclaimed as he peered into the bubbling stove. Nanashi hastily removed him before handing him some carrot sticks at directing him to the kitchen to help Kakashi and Kai set up the table.

As she filled the table with dishes, Nanashi is reminded of another life where she once did the same thing and laughed with family. It is as though both worlds have become one in that moment as Kakashi smiles behind his mask, Kai trying to feed Naruto, and the blonde toddler smiling as bright as the sun.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

On Naruto's second birthday, it is celebrated by her, Kakashi, Kai and the Third who has decided to come for a visit. "Jii-jii!" Naruto said happily as he reached with grabby hands towards the colourful orange bundle in the Third's hand.

"Froggie," Naruto yelled as he squished the bright orange frog in his hands.

"Jiraiya had that sent, here is my present for him," the Third stated, handing her a kunai and shuriken set for children – both wood and dulled metal ones. It is a clearer statement than any words – Naruto is a weapon, to be trained as soon as possible. Nanashi smiles bitterly and accepted with a gracious bow as the Third leaves.

Kai gifts Naruto with a small walrus sleeping cap that is too big for his head and laughs as Naruto's entire head becomes lost in it. Kakashi gives Naruto a stuffed yellow dog which Naruto promptly names Ramen.

All in all, it was a very happy and peaceful day till night time arrived.

Nanashi gathers the weeping Naruto in her arms and Kakashi and Kai leave to deal with the mob of angry drunken civilians gathering around the apartment complex. She hummed a song as she gently rubbed Naruto's back.

_Just close your eyes_

_The sun is going down_

_You'll be alright_

_No one can hurt you now_

_Come morning light_

_You and I'll be safe and sound_

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Naruto is two and some months when she is sent back into Kiri and she has no choice but to leaves Naruto the Kai who recently decided to quit active shinobi duty and open a few ninja stores for children who aim to become ninja.

Naruto sobs as he clutches at her arm, "Mama, do't go! Nawuto be good, no go!"

She feels her heart clench painful but carefully removes Naruto's hands from her arm and presses a kiss at his forehead.

"I'll be back, I promise Naruto, Mama promises to come back."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Kirigakure is worse than the last time she has been here, blood clings to the air they breathe and the chakra as well. Nanashi grows sick as she goes further into Kiri's territory.

She would go back to Naruto no matter what.

Definitely.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

An ambush.

The information they received was a lie and Nanashi and her team are charged at from all sides by Kiri shinobi. Even without the use of her Sharingan, Nanashi knows that they would die. But she would not allow them to satisfaction of gaining her eyes. The eyes that Hotaru and Shouji have given her.

Her eyes turn red and the Amaterasu burns and spreads and she leaves no one alive. Not even her own comrades are given mercy.

_I promise Naruto, Mama promises to come back._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She is more wounded than she thought she was. Nanashi collapses against the thick trunk of the tree and she tends to the stomach wound she received. Pushing soothing medical chakra into the wound, she bites back a scream of pain as the poison counteracts the chakra. Nanashi peels up her shirt and winces at the bluish bruise surrounding her wound.

Snap.

Nanashi twists her attention towards the intruder with a kunai held in her hands. She freezes a child with long white hair and a pale lavender kimono walks from the bush. The child stares at her with lonely brown eyes with no fear at a woman who would probably be able to kill them.

The child slowly walks towards her carrying a large leaf with water in their hands. Nanashi watches the child cautiously as they bend down beside her and offer her the leaf. Gingerly, Nanashi reaches into the pouch at her side and pull out a protein bar and places it beside the child and takes the water. With a small katon jutsu she heats the water till it becomes flame and places it right beside her poisoned wound and slowly introduces healing chakra to stick onto the evaporated water molecules and pushes it to enter her system and cleanse the wound.

Nanashi bites her mouth in pain as the chakra burns at the wound and by the end she is pale and covered in cold sweat.

"Go, leave before anyone comes!" She snaps at the child who is startled by her out burst before running back into the bush.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Nanashi counts the days as the sun rises and the moon fades, the skies turning red, orange, black and then back into a pale blue with white clouds. The child comes back every day carrying fruits, fish or water. The child always smiles at her and places the food down and watches her eat. When Nanashi is feeling generous, she offers the meal with the child who smiles happily all the time and sits beside her.

Nanashi has never bothered to ask for the child's name because what was the point when she would be leaving soon.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Checking her wounds one last time, Nanashi secures the remainder of her weapons and walks slowly on wobbly legs. It was a miracle that no Kiri shinobi has found her yet. Nanashi is still too weak to use chakra for long periods of time but had just enough to mute her steps while she walked on the ground.

The child sees her with wide eyes and walks beside her.

And as Nanashi reaches near the border between Kiri and Konoha, she presses a small pouch of weapons into the child's hand.

"Goodbye, thank you for helping me."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

It is on her way back to Konoha when she encounters Kiri-nin who have sneaked beyond Konoha's boarders. Nanashi crunches down into a soldier pill and steadies herself as she feels the rush of chakra in her veins.

The Susanoo appears incomplete but enough to protect her and she slaughters the Kiri-nin with Katon jutsus. But she misses one and she turns around and all she can think is too late. She would never go back to see Naruto, or Kakashi, or Kai – she would die.

And she closes her eyes and waits for the pain –

But there is nothing as she hears the Kiri-nin scream in pain and yelling "Traitor!"

Nanashi turns around to see the white haired child manipulating their bones into along whip. She feels her heart constrict as the child turns around covered with blood and meets her eyes with their own – so cold and cruel – so very much like her own.

And Nanashi remembers how this child will die and she makes a decision.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"My name is Uchiha Nanashi, what is your name child?"

She holds out a hand and smiles.

"Kaguya Kimimaro," the reply back is hesitant.

But the child places their hand into hers.

_And fate is changed._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Her return into Konoha is met with disbelief and celebration due to the recent addition of Kaguya into Konoha's list of Dojutsu collection.

She briefs the Third rather quickly and takes Kimimaro to the hospital where the child was diagnosed with severe malnutrition and a disease that was beyond rare, Tainted Blood, something that was accounted for only ten times in the history of shinobi – a disease born from generations of inbreeding.

The council throws a fit as the Third grants her custody of the Kaguya child but grudgingly accepts this as the Kaguya child displays his hostility towards others.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Naruto sees her and he screams in delight as he runs towards her – his legs no long wobbly. Nanashi bends down and catches the toddler in her arms as holds him close as he weeps and cries. When she introduces Naruto to Kimimaro, Naruto takes a great liking to his new "nii-chan" and calls him that as he holds Kimimaro's hand all the way back home.

Kai and Kakashi look relieved to see her back and greet Kimimaro cautiously and they spend that night together in the apartment.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Itachi had already graduated during her mission to Kirigakure but was put on hold for a genin team in wait for her return. Nanashi stands calmly in front of the three children consisting of Itachi, a Yamanaka, and a civilian girl. The Yamanaka boy looks like Shouji and Nanashi feels her heart constrict.

"My name is Uchiha Nanashi, I am your sensei till all of you become Chuunin."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Her team is horrible.

An absolute mess.

Yamanaka Takuma who despises Itachi.

Oushou Akemi who idolize Itachi to the point of stalking.

Uchiha Itachi, the genius little boy who will bring only death and blood.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Akemi dies within the first month, killed by nuke-nin during a C-rank mission with a different Jounin-sensei when she had been called away for an assassination mission. Itachi murders them in retaliation and Takuma stares wide eyed at the blood on his hand. Nanashi arrives as backup at sees the dead body of the Jounin and Itachi and Takuma cremating Akemi's body. Itachi has activated his Sharingan and tears stream down his face as he buries himself into her embrace. Itachi turns away and regurgitates the contents of his stomach as she sets the pile ablaze. Takuma does not look away.

Fugaku compliments her greatly for Itachi's gain during the mission and all Nanashi can see is Itachi and Takuma covered in blood. A month later and Takuma quits the shinobi life and she is left with Itachi.

Perhaps it is a good thing that Takuma left, Nanashi thinks during one of her daily visits to the memorial stone. She would never be able to look at the boy without seeing Shouji and what she has lost.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Nana-nee-chan," Itachi said. Not Sensei.

"Will I be promoted to Chuunin soon?"

Nanashi stares at the worn boy, "Not Chuunin, Jounin."

And holds him while he sheds the last of his tears.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Itachi meets Kimimaro, Naruto meets Sasuke, and a fight breaks out.

Naruto does not remember his very first meeting with Sasuke and seems to dislike the black haired toddler who returns the emotion tenfold.

Chubby fists are thrown at each other and Itachi and Kimimaro blame each other's younger siblings.

Kimimaro with him Shikotsumyaku and Itachi with his Sharingan.

Facing against each other, right in the middle of the market.

Nanashi sighs and rubs her forehead.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The damages are paid for from the Uchiha Clan and Nanashi is glad because she wasn't planning to pay for damages that weren't her fault.

No matter who says Naruto and Kimimaro are her charges, she maintains that they were provoked to cause those damages.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She is present for Itachi's promotion to Jounin and watches as the boy whom she watched and taught slip from her fingers into that dark, tainted, blood-filled world.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Seasons pass and time as well.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

It is spring, the flowers have bloomed and the weather is warm and moist.

So peaceful and quiet.

"No it's mine! Mine! Mine!"

"Naruto how about you give to Oji-san?"

"MINE!"

"Otoutou, give it to me now."

"No, it's mine!"

"Mah, mah, everyone calm dow- Naruto don't throw that!"

"MINE!"

Nanashi sighs.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Summer is hot and blazing and the sun is always there with a single cloud.

Nanashi sipped the cold tea carefully and bit into the delicious dango.

"YAY! POOL!"

"Naruto, don't jump into the lake without your floatie!"

"Tou-chan come!"

"Naruto, I don't really like water remeb- _woah!_"

Splash.

Clapping.

"Yay! Tou-chan wet like Pakkun!"

The dog mentioned sighed and un-summoned himself, but not before saying, "Kakashi, you owe me."

"WAH! RAMEN FELL IN!"

"Look at what you did!"

"Otoutou please don't cry anymore."

Nanashi walked up and stepped onto the surface of the water before taking a deep breath as she began to sink. Molding the water around her into a bubble she ventured into the deeper part of the lake a reached for the stuffed dog and absently pulled out the water from the toy stuffing.

When she arose from the lake, Naruto hugged her tightly around the waist and cheered with joy.

"Look Nii-chan! Ramen is safe!"

And proceeded to have a water fight with the Kimimaro and Kai.

Splash.

Nanashi glared menacingly and the whimpering form of Kai and smiled.

It was on.

Internally she sighed, so much for keeping dry,

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Autumn is her favourite season with its bright red leaves, cold yet warm weather and soft winds.

Coincidentally it is also her favourite because it was when the Kyuubi Festival was celebrated.

"Mama, why do they come here like that?" Naruto asked peering down from the balcony at the mobs of drunken civilians.

"Because they're idiots." This was Kai.

Nanashi ruffled Naruto's blonde locks with fond affection, "Because Naruto, they need something to hate because what they do hate they cannot hope to reach."

"But why me," Naruto says and stares at her with big blue eyes, Minato's eyes.

"Don't listen to what they say Naruto, they're idiots," Kakashi said, jumping down from a tree branch in full ANBU uniform.

"Tou-chan! And Tree-Man!" Kakashi ruffled Naruto's hair and the teenage beside him stiffened at the nickname.

Nanashi laughed softly, "It's Tenzo-san, Naruto, Tenzo."

Naruto shook his head, "Tree-Man is Tree-Man."

Ignoring Tenzo's protest, Kakashi carried Naruto's sleepy form back into the room and greeted Kimimaro with a nod.

"Kaa-san, why do they hate Otoutou so much?"

Weaving her fingers through Kimimaro's white hair and she absently noticed the boy leaning into her touch.

"Kimimaro, what Kaa-san tells you must be kept a secret alright. You cannot tell anyone no matter how much you want to, this is a secret for adults alright."

At his nod, Nanashi told him the guarded secret regarding the Kyuubi and watched his eyes became as hard as steel.

"I'll protect Naruto, I promise."

Nanashi smiled, "I know you will."

And pressed a kiss to his forehead before sending him off to bed.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Winter is bitterly cold and the snow is more like slush than anything else.

Naruto, bundled up like a little orange marshmallow, pouts at the sight and mourns that he would never see snow like Kimimaro did.

"I wanna see it! I wanna see it! I wanna –"

Nanashi presses a finger at Naruto's mouth and motions for both him and Kimimaro to follow him to one of the secluded training grounds.

When they arrive, Nanashi smiles at the gasps of surprise and Naruto's gleeful scream as he jumps head first into the white, fluffy snow and Kimimaro stares at her wide eyes – and Nanashi simply pushes him to join Naruto in building a snow man.

At the side of frozen grounds, there was a small wooden house made by Tenzo and Kakashi and Kai have laid out dishes on the kotatsu table and watched as Naruto and Kimimaro played in the snow.

"Ane-san, how did you make snow?"

Nanashi peered out of the open window and smiled, "Chakra manipulation, I am more partial towards water than most Uchihas and I just carefully applied some futon jutsu to make the snow."

"It was well worth it," Kakashi said.

"Nanashi-san, would you like some sake?" Tenzo asked.

"Yes please."

The rest of the day was spent with Naruto and Kimimaro playing in the snow before being ushered into the wooden house.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Tucking Naruto and Kimimaro who decided to sleep in the same room together, despite each having their own in the three bedroom apartment.

Nanashi read them a book based on the Yondaimei Hokage.

"Flash! Flash! Flash!" Naruto whispered as Nanashi tucked the blanket underneath his chin.

"And he moves faster than lightning!" Kimimaro joins in.

"Yes, and now it is time for the two of you to sleep if you want to be as great as a Hero like the Yondaimei," Nanashi said.

Naruto shook his head along with Kiminmaro.

"I like the Fourth Hokage, but I don't wanna be like him! Me and Nii-chan wanna be like Kaa-chan, cause Kaa-chan is the bestest Hero in the world!"

Nanashi laughs at pressed a kiss at each of their forehead before turning off the lights.

"Goodnight."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Ties bind a person to something and force them to confront their fears to protect what is important to them.

It is stronger than their hate, their love, and their hopes and dreams because these ties are what influence them.

Sometimes maybe it is better for people not to have them, but not having them means living only a half-life.

.


	8. Chapter 8 - Ties

**Title:** Mirage of Kaleidoscopes

**Summary:** Life is a kaleidoscope full of mirrors and shards that twist and turn creating a mirage of beauty and colour and in the end; life is nothing more than a beautiful illusion, just like a kaleidoscope.

**Chapter 8:** Ties

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"_**Invisible threads are the strongest ties." **_

― _**Friedrich Nietzsche**_

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Nanashi does not know when the moniker of mother becomes a second name to her. Naruto and Kimimaro address her as such and she supposes that it is a role that she plays, a mother to two boys – one with no parents to call his own and another abandoned by the rest of the world. She has no idea when the word mother becomes threads that have tied her loyalties to them, and in extension to Konoha.

She does not know whether she should regret her loss of empathy and freedom or rejoice that she now has a reason to live on.

But she knows for sure that these threads have created ties between her and the village she once detested.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Kimimaro is a genius.

It's to be expected really. He was a boy trained from birth to be a weapon for the Kaguya clan. Nanashi feels a close sense of kinship towards this white haired boy with eyes far too old. Perhaps this is why she is the only one other than Naruto to be comfortable in his presence. She can tell that every time Kakashi, Kai or Tenzo looks at Kimimaro, their eyes grow cold and cautious. It is the same looks that she received when she was a child.

When Kimimaro seeks her for warmth and love, Nanashi does not hesitate to give him whatever shriveled love she has left because she understands – too well.

Kimimaro calls her "Kaa-san" and Naruto "Otoutou" but other than that he addresses everyone else with a cold politeness. He does not like Kakashi, or Kai, or Tenzo, but tolerates them for her and for Naruto.

Now as he sleeps on her lap with Naruto rolling to the edge of the blanket, she runs her fingers through his hair. She knows that she will not be able to give Kimimaro the illusion of peace for long. It is almost time for him to go back to the world she took him from. Nanashi pauses and stares at the blue sky and makes a promise.

"I'll protect the two of you, no matter what."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The Council is joyous that she has decided to take on another genin team – despite her first one leaving behind one dead civilian and one Hyuuga who refused to fight – she has without a doubt produced a genius that rivaled Hatake Kakashi.

Nanashi requests Kimimaro to be on her genin team and allows the Council to choose one member of their choosing and the last one to be chosen by the Third Hokage himself. The Council murmurs in agreement and Danzo watches her with sly eyes and Nanashi knows that the new member will be one of his spies.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Kimimaro is taught personally by her and Kakashi – a genius being taught by two geniuses of the previous generation. There is no possibility of Kimimaro not being a prodigy.

As Kimimaro twists and turns and Naruto mimicking his every move although less precise, and Kakashi sitting beside her with his book, Nanashi could almost _almost_ pretend that they were a true family.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Her new team consists of Kaguya Kimimaro, Mitarashi Anko and Shinomura Shin.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The first time Nanashi meets her team is immediately after a mission to Iwa.

She observes them from a branch far away from the training ground and watches as her team interacts. Anko is a broken teen, almost a woman really, but the sorrow that clings to her makes her seem like a child. Shin is Danzo's spy, Nanashi knows this, but is surprised by how _young_ he is – and how full of emotions. Kimimaro is the same – silent and cold towards others he does not know – and sees them as lower creatures than himself because that is _exactly_ what they are to him.

She jumps down from the branch and all three children straighten. Anko looks at her with broken _haunted_ eyes and Shin smiles and his eyes gleam as though it holds unknown secrets – and for all Nanashi knows, he truly might. And Kimimaro, the boy she saved and loved, and he smiles at her shyly as his eyes stare into her own, seeking her approval.

"My name is Uchiha Nanashi, I am your sensei."

_This time she will not fail._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Anko is not very liked in the village, being the former student of the traitorous Sannin of Konoha. She embodies the very essence of betrayal in the eyes of the shinobi population – a girl who abandoned loyalty to her village for a traitor sensei. But Nanashi sees differently. She sees herself in Anko, a girl who abandoned everything to gain the approval of that one person. Had Nanashi been in her position, she knows that she would have done the same thing as Anko.

So she reaches a hand out towards the young teen.

And Anko grabs it reluctantly but there is a gleam of desperation and longing in her eyes and Nanashi grabs hold.

She will not let this child go back to that world anymore.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Shin is special.

Nanashi does not get close to him – keeps him at an arm's length – but she does favour him, sometimes even above Kimimaro.

He reminds her of Naruto with his soft smiles and boastful attitude – it's as though seeing a grown-up, grey haired version of her little sun. Nanashi's heart softens even though she knows that she cannot afford it.

"I have a brother, Nanashi-sensei," Shin says with an affectionate smile, "His name is Sai, and he doesn't have many friends so I was wondering if sensei would allow him to play with Naruto-kun." His tone is hopeful but Nanashi can detect the slight guilt that creeps into his voice despite it all. But she gives her consent, if Danzo wanted to get close to her through Shin – then she will strike back with Naruto.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Naruto takes will to his new friend and is all smiles and laughs as he drags emotionless little Sai everywhere with him. Kimimaro does not like Sai, but tolerates him because Naruto does – sometimes Nanashi thinks that everything Kimimaro does is for her and Naruto and she feels pained because she wants him to live for himself.

At night when she brushes her long black hair, Kimimaro and Naruto will come into her room and seek her embrace before leaving for bed. Sometimes when she is in a good mood, she tucks Naruto into her bed and tells him a tale while she brushes Kimimaro's hair, and the three of them sleep together.

Kimimaro loves Naruto and her but he is isolated from the rest of the world. This worries Nanashi and she absently notices tht her concern is much like those of a mother. She wants to reach out to him, to hold him, and tell him that he doesn't have to be like this. But she doesn't because it is something Kimimaro must learn for himself. But she can at least open as many doors for him as possible and urge him to try and _try_ because she can't allow him to give up as she did.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She does not see Itachi often, when she does it is usually in the hospital surrounded by the sterile smell of medicine and the taint of blood. Her dark haired boy is no longer hers anymore but it does not make the pain in her heart dim any less. When she brings her new students with her to allow them to see death head on, they run into Itachi and Nanashi feels her heart constrict in pain at the bitter smile on the Uchiha's face.

Itachi does not want to lose one of the few remaining ties to his youth and childhood – but Nanashi will never be able to remain as her anchor and her minds drift to Sasuke.

_But all you will end up with is a broken boy who will turn into a bitter teen and he will kill you beneath a sky of rain and regrets._

Nanashi smiles and introduces her new students to Itachi and watch nervously as they interact with one another.

She cannot change Itachi's fate any more than he can change it himself. Nanashi is selfish and a coward and she hates it because she cannot save Itachi has she has with Kimimaro and her sun.

_And this makes her feel like a monster._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Snake Lady!" Naruto yelled as he tackled Anko in a hug. He giggled as Anko ruffled his hair and Sai walked from Naruto's side and held Shin's hand. Kimimaro smiled as Naruto jumped into his arms and waved hello at Shin.

Nanashi decided that it was for the best to introduce and integrate her team into her life with Naruto. She wants to protect him and she will do everything in her arsenal to make sure that Naruto will be safe and happy and _pure from all the taint_ for as long as possible till it becomes unavoidable. She glances at Shin laughing with Kai and Naruto, seated in Anko's lap, at a joke and Sai discussing wood carving with Tenzo and Kakashi and Shin bonding over Icha Icha – something she is trying to discourage, and she knows that she has made the right decision.

_Just a little longer, just a little more. _

Her gaze warms as Naruto rushes towards her and hugs her around the waist. Her fingers combing his messy locks and she presses her lips at his forehead.

_Please let this last._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The curse mark placed on Anko is stronger than Nanashi thought it was, she is actually very surprised that Anko hasn't died from it. When she voices this, Anko gives her a bitter smile and laughs hollowly and tells Nanashi about the pain and the betrayal and the _love_ she feels towards her traitor sensei.

Nanashi holds the teen-woman close and lets her cry her tears. She holds Anko as she holds Naruto when he cries, delicate and fragile – but she knows that Anko is stronger than that and she urges her to go on, turn that pain, that hate, into someone _more_.

Anko smiles and her eyes grow bright and she twirls and spins with the wind and laughs as though she is alive once more.

But Nanashi knows better because wounds of the heart will never truly heal, even with the passing of time.

But she also knows that past ties will hurt but new ties will numb those wounds and bring joy and happiness once more.

_And all she can pray is that she had winded enough threads for the ties to form._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

At first Nanashi was afraid that Sai would do something to Naruto and she always made sure that whenever Shin brought Sai over, she would be present. Always.

She notices the slight look of pain in Shin's eyes every time she does this but she pays it no mind – she must place Naruto above all else. But each time she expects Sai and Shin to brainwash her little sun into a cold monster like herself, she is surprised. Sai seems truly happy to spend time with Naruto and his emotionless pale noa face turns into something sweet, delicate, something _innocent_ instead of hardened with training.

And Shin – he surprises her the most. He _loves_ Sai just as she loves Naruto – a twisted, protective sort of love that is borderline unhealthy because they both place so much _goodness and hopes and dreams_ into the two children. Perhaps this is why she likes the silver haired boy so much – they were alike in that they were so isolated, so alone.

Nanashi soon stops her protectiveness and simply leaves the two children with a team of ANBU guards and Shin seems less tense and happier.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

On a joint mission with a team of Chuunin, her students lose control of herself. The Chuunin team consists of one Uchiha and one Hyuuga male and a female Yamanaka – an intelligence team. The two teams travel to the boarders of Kumo and take a in depth look around the change in terrain and the new defense Kumo installed after the inauguration of the Yondaimei Raikage.

On the way back to Konoha, the Uchiha sneers at her and calls her a traitor of the clan while the Hyuuga and Yamanaka simply ignore his behaviour. Her students are angered and the killing intent grows and Nanashi ignores it as the tension between the two teams grow.

And then an ambush hits.

Kumo and Iwa and Nanashi's eyes spin red along with those of the Hyuuga male while the Uchiha male is taken down hurt and crawls from the battle zone.

It is fierce and quick and so _fast_.

"Doton: Yomi Numa!" Shin said calmly as he dodged a poisoned kunai.

"Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu!" Anko yelled.

"Fūton: Hanachiri Mai!" Kimimaro finished.

Three jutsu simutaniously destroyed the opposing force and had Nanashi been a lesser woman she would have wept in joy at their synchronicity. No matter how many times she witnessed it, the balance within a team was always beautiful to see.

_Now to clean up the rest of the mess_.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The Yamanaka woman screams as Nanashi closes her kaleidoscope eyes. The Hyuuga male is pinned against the wall by Anko's poisoned senbo and the Uchiha male clings to the tree trunk as his muffled screams of pain resonates throughout the forest as Kimimaro manipulated the man's bones to grow and shrink and become as brittle as glass – something that he has only recently learned to do, Nanashi was so proud when he showed it to her.

Shin stands at the side and catches the screaming blonde woman and places a silencing tag on her forehead.

Anko grins savagely as she walks – no stalks, her way towards the Hyuuga male, a kunai in her hands. Her tongue peaks out and she licks her lips in excitement.

"This is my lesson to you three, show mercy to no one even if they are your own comrades," Nanashi says darkly.

The Hyuuga is shanking in fear and Anko approaches him. The Uchiha male has already had half of his face ruined from excessive bone growth and one of his eyes dug out and his tongue cut out – he screams. The Yamanaka woman stares at her with fear and claws at the steel wires that cut into her pale skin.

Kimimaro smiles – cruel and merciless and so beautiful, Nanashi muses.

Anko, her little snakeling, grins and her hands twitch as she bares her fangs.

Shin, her little prodigy, smiles and nods at her.

They are hers – not the Hokage's, or Danzo's, _hers_.

"If your comrades want to kill you for the sake of the village, their clan, their **loved ones**… then strike back, hard and deep, give them no chance to beg – go and have _fun_, this is my lesson to you."

_And the three of them strike_.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

They return to the Hokage's office a team less and report the tragedy that happened – the Chuunin team bravely fought the ambush from Kumo and Iwa for Nanashi to have a chance to protect the future shinobis of Konoha.

The Third nods gravely and thank her for her report before giving her team a week to rest while the news is relayed back to the Chuunin team's clans.

As they exit the office, Nanashi's eyes meets Danzo's single eye and she grins – all savage and bloodthirsty, like a true monster and she relishes at the tenseness of his shoulders and the slight increase in his killing intent.

_It is not wise to anger the Bakemono_.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"_Sai is my little brother, Nanashi-sensei, I have to protect him." _

"_I know, that's why I will protect you, so entrust yourself to me and I will tell you no lies and give you no falsities and hand you no illusions – trust in me and all will be well."_

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Shin and Sai move into the apartment and Naruto squeals in delight at having Sai as a roommate. "It'll be awesome Kaa-san! We can play every day now!"

Kimimaro nods and moves his belonging to make room for Shin. Kimimaro has begun to enjoy being with Anko and Shin and this warms Nanashi's heart – more so when all of them gather for meals together and everyone smiles and laughs.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"_Danzo-sama did not give me the seal yet sensei; he did not believe that I was ready yet." _

"_I see… how about Sai, then"_

"_No, Sai was considered to be too young, too emotional."_

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Anko is rather surprised at Shin and Sai moving in with Nanashi and smiles and pokes fun at the silver haired boy. But Nanashi can tell that Anko feels slightly betrayed and takes her to the side and tells her that if she wanted, she could come as well.

It is an impulsive decision but she does not want Anko to fall back into that dark world.

And when Anko smiles so brightly, Nanashi knows that she has made a wise decision.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"_Sai is his real name, but I fear that if he stayed any longer in ROOT he will forget."_

"_Do you love him?"_

"_Yes, he is all I have." _

_"But he is not your brother by blood."_

_"No, but he is brother nonetheless."_

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The next day Anko moves into Nanashi's room and Nanashi sells off the king sized bed and decided on two medium sized ones and splits the storage room with the purple haired girl.

Now every morning there is a race for the washroom, for breakfast, for who can get out the door fastest and there is always laughter.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

And the days become peaceful, calm.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Damn it Anko, get out of the washroom already!"

"No way Old Man, you should've gotten up earlier!"

"I told you my hair is naturally grey!"

A small chubby fist knocked at the door.

"Anko-nee-chan… Nawuto needs to go…"

The door creaked open and Anko jumps out freshly showered and in a skimpy white towel.

Pressing a wet kiss at Naruto's chubby cheeks, Naruto giggled as Anko waved him in with flourish and drama.

"Come on Sai!"

The black haired boy nods and the two rush in.

"Ohya ohya… Old Man, I didn't know you were a pervert as well," Anko comments at growing red puddle on the ground.

"Anko-san, your towel is coming loose."

"Oops! Thanks for that Kimimaro! Now breakfast! Nanashi-sensei, ASAGOHAN!"

"Hai hai, it's toast and eggs with almond milk, Kimimaro's favourite – and of course, dango as a morning desert."

"God, if I were a male I would marry you sensei!"

"And if I were sensei I would slap you for that comment," Shin grumbled with a tissue in his nose.

"Kaa-san! Sai and I are hungry!"

"What did you say!"

"Kaa-san may I have another serving?"

"Food! Now!"

Nanashi sighed as she flipped the eggs.

So much for peace.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Kakashi and Shin giggled as they flipped a page. Naruto and Sai watched with morbid interest as they each did a tally on their paper. Another flip, a perverted high-pitched giggle… and wait for it – a sigh.

Anko's eye twitched.

Kai and Kimimaro snuck into the kitchen silently to avoid drawing attention.

Nanashi smiled coolly and she struck.

A few hits later with Anko holding the two orange books under a lit match with Kakashi and Shin in kneeling position with red bumps piled on their heads.

"And what exactly have we all learned for this?"

Two eager hands shot up.

"Yes, Sai."

"If you want to be doing something banned by the Rules, you must be sneakier about it," he replied with a little puff of pride.

Nanashi nodded, "Good, but there is more." She gestured for Naruto to speak.

"I know! I know! I know! To not read it when Anko-nee is around cause she'll blab at tell you Kaa-san!"

Nanashi nodded, "Yes, that's also correct and does anyone have any more answers."

Silence.

"Rule One: Always obey Nanashi's rules." She got up from her seat.

"Rule Two: Never, _ever_, try to disobey them without good, great reason." Translation, it had better be the Armageddon descending. She grabbed a paper fan with fuinjutsu written over.

"Rule Three: There is _never_ a loophole in my rules." She walked closer to Kakashi and Shin's paling forms.

"And Rule Four: Never. Ever. Read Icha Icha in this household!" Nanashi whacked the two on the head.

"What were the two of you thinking reading _that_ **thing** in front of Naruto and Sai!"

Yes, Nanashi does have her moment like this.

Anko nodded in satisfaction and Kimimaro urged to Naruto and Sai watch and take pointers.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"WAH! SHIN-NII GOT RAMEN WET!" Naruto sobbed as big crocodile tears fell from his eyes. Sai patted his back in comfort and stared at the grey haired teen with accusing eyes of disappointment.

Anko grinned sharply as she held out a kunai at Shin's trembling form while Kimimaro had the bones in his fingers extend to form claws.

"I'm sorry!" Shin screamed as Anko and Kimimaro charged at him.

Naruto wiped his tears and poof, Ramen disappeared and was replaced by a log. He giggled and shared a grin with Sai – Mission Accomplished. Picking up Ramen who was hidden behind a bush, Naruto and Sai raced back home to get their choice of dinner. It was totally Shin-nii/-san's fault for making them late this morning and missing out on getting the choice of breakfast.

Ramen made with dried tofu noddle tasted best in the morning.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Tou-san! Tou-san! Look! Look! I got taller! Sai did too! But we're not as tall as Kimimaro-nii yet!" Naruto said, jumping up and down. He giggled as Kakashi picked him up.

"Yo, Kakashi," Anko greeted.

"Hatake-san," Shin nodded in acknowledgement.

"Kakashi-san," Kimimaro greeted before going back to his milk.

"Scarecrow-san," Sai said pointing at Kakashi as Naruto laughed at his Tou-san bewildered look.

"Come on Sai, let's go colour!"

"Kakashi-senpai, you're here too!"

"Oi! Kakashi come help set the table!"

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The Third Hokage stood ontop of the Hokage Monument of the Yondaimei and stared solemnly at the village below. Nanashi stood a short distance away and sighed as she looked at the sky above.

"Naruto is almost of age of enter the academy," the Third spoke.

Nanashi nodded and her hands tensed into fists.

"He must be enrolled as soon as possible."

"Yes, Lord Hokage."

"It must be difficult for you, Nanashi," he said. "To lose a child you raised since his birth to become a tool for the village."

The Third's eyes are cold and calculating and Nanashi can see why they called him the God of Shinobi in his youth. A man who perfectly balances the act of a father, husband and leader, there was no other man in the world who could be like Sarutobi Hiruzen.

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

"It is for the sake of the village and everyone else, we all must make sacrifices."

"Yes."

"… when you hear something from Fugaku relay it back to me, you will be my eyes and ears along with Itachi… do not fail me Nanashi."

"… Yes, Hokage-sama."

She fears this God more than any other man or deity.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

To wish for a single moment to remain as is, is a very foolish wish.

Nothing remains the same forever – the seasons change, time passes and people change.

One can wish, can pray, can hope, but Change will come whether we are ready or not.

Time waits for no one, and there is no greater tragedy than that.

But if change happens then brace yourselves because it will be like a tsunami, sweeping through your lives, like a snow storm that covers the tracks back to the past – unable to return anymore.


	9. Chapter 9 - Change

**Title:** Mirage of Kaleidoscopes

**Summary:** Life is a kaleidoscope full of mirrors and shards that twist and turn creating a mirage of beauty and colour and in the end; life is nothing more than a beautiful illusion, just like a kaleidoscope.

**Chapter 9: Change**

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"_**And that is how change happens. One gesture. One person. One moment at a time."**_

_**― Libba Bray, **__**The Sweet Far Thing**_

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She held Naruto's small hand in her larger, calloused ones and smiled as he chattered on, carrying a bright orange backpack. It would be his first day at the academy, away from all he has known in his short five years of life and thrust back into a society that hated him. Behind them was a retinue of people, including Shin who held Sai's hand as it was time for his enrollment as well – at least Naruto will have a friend. Anko and Kimimaro discussing taijutsu with Anko making wild gestures and bickering with Shin on contradicting views, as Sai stared at them with curious eyes. Kakashi, Tenzo and Kai walked leisurely with Kakashi flipping that god awful book that should never have been written in the first place.

Naruto fidgeted nervously as the Academy came into his sight. He stared up at Nanashi with fear and excitement and his small hands clenched into fists. "Kaa-chan… what if they don't like them?" Naruto asked, his wide blue eyes staring into her own. Nanashi bent down till she was at Naruto's eye level and smiled gently.

"Don't worry, Naruto, you'll be fine," she said soothingly.

Naruto shook his head rapidly, "But what if they're like _them_," he whispered fearfully. Them as in the civilians and ninjas, who always looked at Naruto with accusing, hate filled eyes.

Sai released his grip on Shin's hand and held Naruto's hand in his own and smiled. "You'll be fine, I'll be with you." Nanashi smiled as a large grin broke out on Naruto's face. Her little sun nodded and gave her a hug before clutching Sai's hand.

"Sai's right Kaa-san! I'll be fine 'cause Imma gonna be Hokage someday and the Hokage has to be brave, Sandaimei-ji-chan said so!" Naruto declared, his little chest puffing up with pride. Nanashi smiled and stood and wove her hands through both of their hair and pressed a kiss on their forehead.

"Alright then, why don't the two of you go check out the Academy while the rest of us get the enrollment papers finalized?" Naruto and Sai shared a smile and rushed off.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Naruto and Sai are placed in the same class and Nanashi released a sigh of relief. She stands tall and proud along with her retinue of students and pretend family. Nanashi ignores the looks of hatred towards her and waves goodbye to her little sun and Sai and lingers till every child disappears into the Academy.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Danzo-sama, I am honoured by this invitation and your request for my help but I must decline," Nanashi says with all the grace and delicacy that is expected of a lesser gender. She smiles all sweet and gentle as though she is **just** a normal, civilian woman – but there is the hint of sharpness, of savageness that she cannot rid herself of.

Danzo nods as his one eye grows sharp and the cup in his hand shatters from the sheer amount of killing intent permeating from his figure. Nanashi smiled and raised the cup to her lips and took a deep sip of the tea. Her own chakra flaring out and her eyes turned red as she met Danzo's one eye.

"I do not take well to other entrenching on my territory, Danzo-sama," Nanashi states, her eyes turning like a kaleidoscope, "The incident with the Chuunin team won't happen again, will it?"

Danzo gazes at her with his one eye and nods at the hidden threat. Nanashi is all smiles and elegance as she rises and bows.

"You will be Hiruzen's puppet if not mine, it is either the light or the shadows, someday you will have to choose," Danzo says.

Nanashi turns her head and smiles, all teeth and beguiling like a siren, "There is always a choice," and she pauses and laughs, loud and mocking.

"You are too blind Danzo-sama… if there is no choice then I will make one, if there is no path I will create one, if the Gods threaten me then I will cut them down… I am my own person, no one, and especially none of you will tell me otherwise," Nanashi says and laughs once more before she leaves.

_If you do not believe in change, do not try to change, do you truly expect to change anything?_

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She is moving fast, faster than the wind, faster than sound, faster than light – and she leaves after images of herself. Her long black hair spread across like a dark halo and Nanashi stops behind Anko and taps the teen on the shoulder and disappears once more. This time she stops behind Shin and Kimimaro and surprised them with a ruffle of their head and she is gone once more.

The three look for her and try to sense her chakra but are unable to. Nanashi laughs from the tree branch and the three look up at her, flushed and red cheeked and eyes full of excitement.

"Nanashi-sensei! Sensei! That was amazing, you were so fast! Teach me!" Anko exclaims as she looks at Nanashi in awe.

Shin nods, and his voice is full of reverence, "I've heard rumours of that technique, Nanashi-sensei, they say that it rivals the Fourth's Hiraishin no Jutsu and they say that with those two jutsu, you and the Fourth ended the war." He speaks as though Nanashi is a hero, someone so strong and unbreakable. Nanashi smiles at the innocence remaining in Shin jumps from the branch.

Kimimaro looks at her with awe-filled eyes and smiles as he closes the distance. His smile is like that of child, Nanashi muses, an innocent little child. But Kimimaro is anything but that but in that moment, that time; all of three of her student were children. It pained Nanashi to see that, to know that soon this innocence would be snuffed out.

She wants to protect her three students.

Nanashi breaks the vow she set for herself.

"How would the three of you like to learn it?"

She is met with three pair of eyes widening with disbelief.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Naruto returns everyday with scuffed knees and dirty clothes with red rimmed eyes and little Sai by his side. Sai is treated indifferently by his classmates, but Nanashi knows that he considers this a sign of a good shinobi. But Naruto is a different story. Her little sun, adored and loved and protected, Naruto is unused to facing all the anger and hatred and discrimination that she has worked so hard to keep him away from. But now that he is in the academy, Nanashi cannot protect him anymore.

But as she pats Naruto's head as he cried his woes into her arms, Nanashi wants to do the opposite so badly it hurts.

She looks at Sai standing at the sideline – lingering, as though afraid to get close. Nanashi smiles and opens her other arm and Sai smiles and rushed into her embrace. Nanashi holds her two boys close and wonders just what she can do to save them.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Nanashi has never met Uchiha Sasuke directly, all their meetings have only been through others or from across the streets. She does not pay the future traitorous boy any thought other than the fact that she would need to remove him if he became an obstacle towards Naruto.

But now, as she enters the main clan compound, little Sasuke comes to greet her along with Itachi. Nanashi's shriveled, broken heart ached for the sight of this man-boy who is so hardened by blood and tainted by darkness and the little boy who will destroy all his brother fought for and wanted for him to inherit. She wants to reach out to them and hold them and protect them as she does with Naruto, but she can't.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"_One or the other, Nanashi, you cannot have both," the Third declared. _

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Fugaku-sama, Mikoto-sama, and Kagami-dono," Nanashi bowed and elegantly knelt onto her legs and her hands were placed upon her lap. She goes into a full bow on her knees and rises with all the grace possessed by empresses and smiles as cold as ice and as burning as fire.

"You honour me with your request," Nanashi states as she smiles at the Elders – the vultures, she has half the mind to murder them all right now.

Fugaku coughs and pins her with his dark, dark eyes and looks into her eyes as though he would be able to see into her mind if he did so. He averts his gaze quickly and nods at Kagami who sits to his right. Uchiha Kagami is an old man, a student of the Second Hokage, and one of the venerable Elders of the Uchiha Clan.

"My son, Shisui, he has a great affinity for the Shunshin jutsu," Kagami began and Nanashi already senses what the clan wants from her. "Had the Fourth been alive the clan would have petitioned for the Hiraishin to be taught to Shisui, but since the Fourth is dead, you are all that is left," Kagami states coolly. Nanashi's hands grip into fists and she smiles, "You truly flatter me Kagami-dono, my techniques are mere tricks compared to what the Fourth was able to accomplish." Nanashi continues on with her flattery and lowers herself in the eyes of the clan and the Elders nod and discuss amongst themselves.

Kagami gazes at her with shrewd eyes and he laughs, "What they say is right, the Bakemono has a tongue as sweet as honey – had I not lived longer I might have truly believed you." He placed the cup down onto the small wooden table and pierced her with red, sharingan eyes – kaleidoscope eyes like her own.

"You will teach Shisui, you will pass all your knowledge and skills onto him, and you will cease to teach those three children and you will obey the clan," Kagami speaks and each word fills her head with chakra. Genjutsu, Kagami trying to place a genjutsu on the Bakemono. Nanashi wanted to laugh and she does and her eyes bleed into red and spin and she smiles, all teeth and savageness shown clear.

"Do not test my patience, a mere trick like that will do nothing," she says and stands elegantly and smiles. "Do not try that again… what I do and whom I teach will be of no concern to you."

Her bloodlust and killing intent rises and all the Elders jump from their seat and holding weapons in their hands. She smiles and disappears and appears behind Kagami with a senbon placed near his neck. Nanashi bends close and whispers into his ear, "Never attempt to use _those eyes_ on me, do you understand? The next time that you do, I will gourge them out and _**kill you**_."

And she leaves.

The clan does not approach her about the matter again.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Nanashi trains herself diligently everyday – even normal household chores are done with chakra. This is a habit she drills into her students and children – yes, children, because Sai has recently picked up on calling her "Kaa-san." Cleaning and cooking will be executed with chakra strings. Washing and drying are to be done with chakra. Even the clothes they wear must be used as chakra exercise material – sticking and unsticking, and testing and getting use to changing the amount and frequency of chakra used.

But it has been a while since Nanashi ever thought about improving one of her 'jutsus.' Now as she sits upon the waters of the Valley of the End, where she holds a long white beaded necklace in midair with her chakra, she wonders if she could change it, make it better, to change a future that has already been set in stone.

The Sen-Hachi-Ju-Hachi is an item she is very prideful about. The One Thousand and Eighty-Eighty, used to bind and freeze enemies without a chance to break free unless one knew the tricks behind it. Nanashi had made it in mind of using it on humans but she had never thought about Bijuus.

She glanced at the gleaming beads and nodded, it was certainly a good idea to explore.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Uchiha-dono," Touma's gruff voice said and a wet nose was pressed against her palms. She glanced away from the Memorial Stone and nodded at the ninken to continue.

"Kai sends me to take you home," Touma says as he bends down as though about to sleep.

Nanashi nods but stays standing in one spot, unmoving.

_Hotaru, Shouji, Obito, Minato, Kushina – I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Nanashi wonders if it is too late.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

In the end, it is Kimimaro who masters her Kasoku – but it really is no surprise considering his primary element is wind and the second being lightning. Anko and Shin are tied at speed but Anko has power behind her hits and kicks and Shin has flexibility much better than anyone Nanashi has met yet.

Nanashi teaches Kimimaro of her dances learnt as a geisha and walks him through the steps and teaches him to flow with water and move with the wind and strike deep into the hearts of others like a bolt of lightning. Kimimaro's taijutsu becomes polished, precise, not a movement wasted, and so _beautiful_. Nanashi cannot help but admire the dedication her boy puts into her lessons and she enjoys the flash of pleasure in Kimimaro's eyes every time he completes a step perfectly.

Anko is fire, burning and passionate, but at the same time she is water. Perhaps Anko had once solely consisted of fire before, but after Orochimaru, water becomes one of her nature as well. Two opposing elements – Nanashi finds it oddly fitting for Anko. Nanashi teaches Anko how to spew fire and to guide, not control, the flames to burn and melt and _destroy_. For water, she teaching the woman-girl how to trap, to ambush, to run and heal because Nanashi wants Anko to survive and sometimes it is best to be a coward than it is to be a hero.

But Shin is the one who's improvement Nanashi likes the most. He is earth, just earth and nothing else, as grounded to the ground as one could be. Nanashi teaches him about the trees and plants and flowers and how to change the surrounding to his advantage. Shin is the earth and everywhere and everything is within his domain – he is unbeatable as long as he understands what he must do. Above all, Nanashi enjoys the smiles Shin now shows – warm and caring and kind – nothing like the fakes.

They are her and she will do all she can to protect them.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Tou-chan! Welcome back!" Naruto yelled as he launched himself at Kakashi, but was grabbed at the neck by Shin. Naruto looked and scowled before pouting at Shin's shaking of his head and grudgingly grabbed Sai's hand and headed for bed.

Shin nodded at Nanashi and left the living room, leaving the two sole occupants staring at one another.

"The Hokage re-enlisted you into ANBU," Nanashi stated coolly. Kakashi cringed and nodded slowly and began setting down his weapons. She poured a cup of sake into a large bowl and placed it in front of Kakashi before sitting across from him and waited for an explanation.

Kakashi took a deep sip, and began, "There have been some skirmishes with Kumo since the Hyuuga incident – they've recently had to abandon their project to gain the Byakugan since the Hyuuga Hizashi's corpse yielded no information." Nanashi nodded, she had certainly heard about the Hyuuga kidnapping incident but never really cared about it. The Hyuuga and Uchiha never got a long – except for her and Hotaru but she carefully avoided thinking about the boy who loved her and died for her.

"There might be another attempt and there have been rumours of some terrorist groups near Iwa-Konoha boarders, apparently a Bakuton user is in the group as well," Kakashi ended in a whisper. Nanashi nodded and noted at his apparently tiredness and smiled, she gestured to the pulled-out couch bed and threw a pack of chakra pills at Kakashi along with a water bottle.

"Sleep, Kakashi, I'll take care of it all."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

When the residents of the house all woke up, it was to a large, very large breakfast with half of it being Kakashi's and the other half shared amongst other residents of the apartment, and without Nanashi in sight.

On the fridge there was a note, "Out for a Mission, obey the rules or else. – Nanashi."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Reaching Kumogakure would have usually taken a person many weeks but for Nanashi it amounted to a few seconds. With her Mangekyo Sharingan, Nanashi managed to master all the jutsus she once read about in a previous life. Tsukuyomi, Amaterasu, Susanoo, and finally, Kamui.

She does not know how it was possible for her to master all four, but Nanashi just _knew_ that she could use it and she did. Although it was only recently discovered, she was going to take all the advantage that it offered.

Appearing into Kumogakure was easy, finding a shinobi who knew about the Hyuuga experiment was difficult but not so much with Tsukuyomi and destroying all of Kumo's work with Amaterasu was the easiest. It had taken her much time to find Hyuuga Hizashi's sealed body surrounding by dozens of traps and fuinjutsu and Nanashi was ever so thankful for those lessons with Jiraiya.

Taking the sealed scroll and she faded once more.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"_What if I want to protect them all," Nanashi challenged, her eyes hard._

"_Then you will fail them all," the Third stated._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The terrorists' bases were burning in black flames, and people ran in terror and screamed with pain and fear. Nanashi perches herself on top of a tree branch and leisurely throws poisoned senbons at people who had the misfortune of becoming her target.

She sees a blur of yellow and a boy, almost a teen but still a child, around Itachi's age, runs past the tree and falls onto the ground. Nanashi hears the boy crying and screaming in terror as the flames burn around him. He closes his eyes and waits for the flames to reach him but they don't. The boy opens his eyes as sees a masked woman with long black hair standing in front of him. The flames widen and the two remain in the circle surrounded by flames.

"So you're the Bakuton user," Nanashi remarks, gazing at the mouths on the boy's hand.

He is terrified, Nanashi notes, and he reaches for the clay bag beside his hip only to have his sleeve pinned by a senbon.

Nanashi bends down to the boy's level and removes her mask and forces the child to look into her eyes.

"Run, run as far away from here as you can, because next time there will be no mercy," Nanashi whispers deadly, her eyes spinning red.

The flames part a way into the forest and the boy hesitantly stands and begins to run.

"… Deidara," Nanashi whispers, testing the name on her tongue, and she smiles, "Still too soon, too soon…"

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"_If I do not try, how will I know if I can?"_

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She returned within three days.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Kaa-chan! Welcome back!" Naruto exclaimed, throwing his arms around her.

Sai hesitantly approached her and joined the embrace after Naruto's prompting.

Nanashi held her two boys close and wove her fingers through their hair.

She smiled, "I'm back."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The Council berates her for not reporting back to them right after such an important mission, but Nanashi ignores them in favour of studying the Hyuuga Head's reaction.

The Sandaimei pierces her with his stare and so does Danzo, and Fugaku glares at her as Nanashi continues with her monotonous verbal report.

Nanashi would have to applaud Hyuuga Hiashi to be able to keep such a blank face even when news of his brother's body has been brought back.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She receives a formal invitation to the Hyuuga Compound a week after the council meeting.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Dressed a formal kimono, white with magnolia flowers, and a pale purple obi with silver threads, her hair tied into a long pony tail, Nanashi arrived at the Hyuuga compound.

She was lead in by a main branch member and Nanashi walked in proud and with her head held high even as all the Hyuuga members gazed at her with mistrust and hate.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The room is barren except for its four inhabitants.

Nanashi, Hyuuga Hiashi, a young girl and a boy who was slight older.

"My daughter Hinata and my nephew, Neji," Hiashi stated imperiously.

The little girl blushed, red against her pale skin; Nanashi thought Hinata had the potential to be a great beauty in the future. Neji nodded at her stiffly, and scowled at Hinata's demure response.

Nanashi smiled, "Hello, my name is Uchiha Nanashi, it's a pleasure to meet you."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She returned Hyuuga Hizashi body to a shocked Neji who ran out of the room, clutching at the scroll.

Hiashi sighed and a pained expression made its way onto his face.

"The Hyuuga clan will remember this and we will definitely repay you for what you have do," Hiashi declared before he too exited the room.

Only little Hinata remained behind and led her to gardens for some tea.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Her little sun and the little sunflower in front of her.

And an idea came to her.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"_I will not fail, Sandaime, because I cannot allow myself to do so… I will protect everything."_

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Naruto adored Hinata, just as Nanashi expected. Hinata blushed prettily and smiled as Naruto held her hands and Nanashi saw the girl's eyes grow bright and full of admiration. Sai was out training with her students and Kakashi and Tenzo on a mission and Kai too busy to come.

Underneath the blue sky, Nanashi smiled as Naruto placed a crown of flowers on Hinata's head.

"Kaa-san, look! Hinata is a princess!" Naruto exclaimed, holding Hinata's hand.

Nanashi smiled, "Not a princess, Naruto, a bride."

Naruto tilted his head, "A bride?"

Nanashi nodded and pressed two rings made of grass onto each of the children's ring finger.

"Yes, a bride and you are her husband," and she laughed as Hinata turned bright red as Naruto pressed a kiss on her cheek.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"An engagement… you want me to engage Hinata to the Jinchuriki," Hiashi whispered as he clutched the scroll.

Nanashi nodded and took another sip; Hiashi's killing intent increased as he stared at her, hard. "My daughter will not be a sacrifice to some _monster_," he hissed.

"Hinata will never be the Head, she is too weak for that," Nanashi stated. "I intend to have her be Naruto's bride, and someday, the wife of the Hokage." Hiashi stares at her with wide eyes, "… how do you know that."

Nanashi smiled sharply, "I will give Naruto the most glorious future one could ever desire, but for that to happen, he must have people who are willing to stand beside him. It would be beneficial for your clan to have an inner ear too would it not?"

"Why not your clan?" Hiashi questioned.

Nanashi scoffed, "My son cannot have an Uchiha bride… they cannot be trusted."

Hiashed pierced her with shrewd eyes, "How can I trust you?"

"I will give you three gifts to earn your trust," Nanashi stated, "And trust me, it will be three gifts your clan has desired more than anything."

Hiashi nodded, "Very well, if you can truly give what you promise, I will accept this engagement."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

She sat beside Naruto's bed and brushed his wild blonde hair and smiled as he retold his day to her. Sai had snuck out to sleep with Shin for the night and everyone was already asleep, leaving only the two of them awake.

"Hinata-chan is really pretty, but not as pretty as you Kaa-san," Naruto said.

"Do you like her, Naruto?"

Naruto nodded and smiled brightly, "I like her a lot cause she's my bride right?"

Nanashi smiled, "Yes Naruto, Hinata will be your bride, she isn't yet."

"Why not?" Naruto questioned with big blue eyes.

"Because you need to marry her for her to be your bride, right now she is just your friend but when Kaa-san finishes one last mission, she will become your fiancée."

"What's a fiancée?"

Nanashi held Naruto's hand in her own, "Someone who will become your bride in the future."

"Oh! Okay then! So I'll marry Hinata-chan in the future just like how Kaa-san is married with Tou-san?" Naruto asked.

And a flash of blonde and red fills her vision and Nanashi nods.

"Yes, just like your Kaa-san and Tou-san… just like them."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"An engagement with the Hyuuga Clan's heir," the Third commented as he took a puff from his pipe, "Are you sure that is a wise decision."

"Yes, Naruto will need the support someday when he becomes Hokage," Nanashi declared.

The Third laughed, "You are very sure of that aren't you?"

"Yes, why would I not be when you yourself have done nothing but confirm it," Nanashi said.

He did not reply.

"Naruto will be Hokage, he must become Hokage to protect the village and I am simply doing what it takes to ensure that my son's future is not threatened."

"You are not his mother, Nanashi, you mustn't forget that, his parents are the Heroes who died," the Third whispered, a broken man.

"No, I am his mother, the ones who died are the Heroes of Konoha, and _**they**_ have no child."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Fire burns away at everything – unyielding, unending, and merciless.

It burns the past, the present and the future and leaves behind ashes of what could have been.

The will of Fire _**burns**_ with the lives and dreams and hopes and blood of the living and the dead, the damned and the innocent, the light and darkness gathered into one.

When the fire is finally gone, and everything is burnt away, and the ashes are scattered by the winds – only then will we begin to live again.


	10. Chapter 10 - Duty

**Title:** Mirage of Kaleidoscopes

**Summary:** Life is a kaleidoscope full of mirrors and shards that twist and turn creating a mirage of beauty and colour and in the end; life is nothing more than a beautiful illusion, just like a kaleidoscope.

**Author's Note:** I usually don't write this cause I find it as awkward as hell. Anyways I've been getting some mail and reviews about how awful, manipulative, cruel and disgusting Nanashi is and let me say I really frankly don't care. I am not going for the 'everything is going to be alright in the end' cause really nothing in life is ever 'all right.' It's how we view it as. Life is pretty twisted if you lose everything and get reincarnated. I don't think any of us would be able to completely let go like some of the self-inserts who portray people doing. Nanashi is absolutely torn apart from her experience as a child and is still suffering from the loss of her previous life and family. She becomes twisted and manipulative because she wants a family, a life, and happiness so badly that she is willing to do anything. She feels bad no doubt about that but her desires overweigh all her other emotions. Nanashi is not seeking to protect Konoha because it's her duty or anything, she want to protect it because she know Naruto will want that. She clings to Naruto because he was a part of another life she once had, i.e. the manga/anime. So seriously people, if this is too dark or disgusting to you please just don't read it.

Oh and the timeline and age issue… yeah about that I suck massively with calculations in any shape or form so I'm probably going to go on a massive editing thing during winter break so yeah. Nanashi is meant to be 5 years older than Obito, and Obito 4 years older than Kakashi, so Nanashi is 9 years older than Kakashi. The two of them are not having a relationship anytime soon so stop asking and they are simply playing make-belief family for Naruto and to have a semblance of a normal life.

**Chapter 10:** Duty

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

**"_Be with a leader when he is right, stay with him when he is still right, but, leave him when he is wrong." _**

**― _Abraham Lincoln_**

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The skies covered by ominous black clouds as the reflected pure blue sky fades and the sun's lights shielded and darkness descends. Thunder crackles within the clouds and the sound of it piercing the skies rings across Konohagakure. The rain falls gently at first, like the soft summer breeze. But soon become a shower of bitter cold.

The citizens of Konoha run for shelter, all of them running past by the woman holding the red umbrella.

Nanashi held her left hand and smiled bitterly.

Her right hand fell loosely at her side and the rain poured upon her weary form.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"_Kagami-dono…. I applaud you for your acting, you had me fooled completely if not for this meeting right now."_

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Kaa-san! You're all wet!" Naruto exclaimed as he hugged Nanashi around the waist despite her water that covered her.

Nanashi absently ruffled Naruto's head and smiled faintly before heading for the shower.

"Sensei- ack! Anko you crazy woman what are you doing!" Shin yelled.

"Kicking some sense into you for stealing the great Anko-sama's dango!" Anko yelled back.

And Nanashi faded.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"_Nanashi-san, my father has asked me to deliver this to you," A masked teen stated emotionlessly. _

_Nanashi smirked, "I would have expected the Uchiha to know better than to try again." She glanced up at the teen and smiled sweetly, "Wouldn't you, Shisui-kun?"_

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Oka-sama, you seem tired, are you feeling alright?" Sai's soft voice questioned timidly.

Nanashi smiled gently and motioned for Sai to sit on her lap. Sai climbed out and allowed Nanashi to wrap her arms around him.

"Sai, you will protect Naruto when I am not there right?"

Sai nodded and stared into Nanashi's eyes, "I know Oka-sama, because Naruto is special."

Nanashi nodded, "Yes, Sai, Naruto is special, very special. So you and I need to share the burden of protecting him alright?"

Sai nodded and held up a pinkie, something he picked up from Naruto, and smiled, "Pinkie promise, Oka-sama!"

Nanashi smiled and intertwined her pinkie with Sai's, "Alright, pinkie promise."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"_Nanashi-san, not all shinobi are meant to be in the light, something I am sure you know," Kagami remarked, looking older than ever. _

_Nanashi delicately sipped her tea and replied coolly, "Yes not all shinobi are meant for that path, but it does not mean that they must be pushed into the shadows completely. Don't you agree, Kagami-dono?"_

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The Third Hokage, the man known as the God of Shinobi sighed wearily as his advisors and his old friend, Danzo exited the room. He lit a pipe and looked older than his age. He threw down the hat and took a deep puff from the pipe.

"So, Nanashi, what do you suppose we do next," he remarked, fully well knowing the answer to his questions.

A woman wearing standard issue ANBU geared stepped out of the shadows with a black panther mask in her hands. Nanashi looked at the closed door and replied coldly, "Hokage-sama, it is not a part of my duty to interfere with the inner workings of the village."

The Third bitter smile that seem to light up his aged face like the rays of the morning sun rising. He placed his pipe down and stared at Nanashi with cold eyes.

"Danzo will move soon after hearing what Itachi reported. I must do something to stop it."

Translation: Keep a close eye on all parties involved with this issue and deal with it as soon as possible.

Nanashi nodded and placed her mask back on, "Yes Hokage-sama."

And blended back into the shadows once more.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

_She stared at the black mask in her hands and her grip tightened. _

_She cracked a bitter smile, "If you do not choose the light you must choose the shadows eh?"_

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Kaa-san! There's a black bird there!" Naruto pointed excitedly, momentarily forgetting the ninja game between him and Sai vs. Shin.

Nanashi glanced up at the crow who crooked its head at her attention.

It cawed three times in a row and flew away.

"Kimimaro, Anko, look after Naruto, Sai and Shin alright?" Nanashi said with a teasing smile.

Anko nodded, "You bet Sensei, especially Shin, cause who know what he might do."

Kimimaro crossed his arms and remarked in a sagely tone, "I agree completely Anko, it is utter unwise to leave someone as childish as Shin with more mature children than him."

Ignoring Shin's screams of indignation, Nanashi pressed a kiss on Naruto's forehead and ruffled Sai's hair and faded with the wind.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Itachi," Nanashi greeted calmly.

Itachi stared at her with hollow eyes and began to speak as though he had recited the information at least a hundred times before seeing her.

And knowing the elders, they probably had Itachi go over the situation in every way possible.

Nanashi did not interrupt and allowed Itachi to finish.

Slowly, Nanashi walked closer and wrapped her around the teen and allowed Itachi to sink into her embrace like how he used to.

_I'm sorry, forgive me, forgive me… forgive me for not choosing you._

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Hello, Sasuke-san, my name is Uchiha Nanashi, your distant cousin."

The little boy who admired Itachi so much, who loved his older brother so much, _who would end up killing him_, stared at her with wide eyes, "Hello Nanashi-san."

He fidgets nervously and stares at her with excitement and anticipation, he takes a deep breathe and begins his questions, "My name is Uchiha Sasuke, and it's a pleasure to meet you. Kaa-san said that you taught Itachi-nii! It is true? Can you teach me too? I want to be like my nii-san! Did you teach him how to move so fast? Nii-san said that you taught him his first katas and he taught them to me!"

Nanashi smiled bemusedly, he reminded her of Naruto.

She nodded and smiled patiently, "Yes Sasuke-san, now why don't we start with the basics."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"_You want to teach Sasuke-chan?" Mikoto remarked dumbfounded. _

_Fugaku placed his tea cup down and stared at her. _

_Nanashi smiled serenely, "Yes, since I once taught Itachi-sama, I believe that Sasuke-san may also be as good as his older brother."_

_Fugaku coughed and stared at her sternly, "Although I would prefer you to teach another prodigy of the clan, Sasuke is intelligent, more so than his peers, he is not a prodigy like his brother."_

"_Then all the better," Nanashi smiled, her teeth shone like knives. "Itachi-sama is without a doubt a gem that polished itself. But Sasuke-san is a gem waiting for someone to polish him into a gem even greater than Itachi-sama." _

_Mikoto spoke coldly, "Are you saying that Sasuke will be greater than Itachi?"_

_Nanashi smiled savagely, "I am not saying, I am telling you that he will be. Is it not better to have a son who is dedicated to you instead of one who is dedicated to the village?" Nanashi's voice took on a mocking tone as she watched Mikoto's face crumble. _

_Fugaku stood up abruptly and pierced her with a cold look, "I expect only the best results from this." _

_Nanashi replied mockingly, "Of course Fugaku-sama."_

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Hokage-sama, I have successfully made contact with the youngest son and am in the process of teaching him," Panther reported.

Cat stiffened ever so slightly but did not remark.

The Hokage took a deep puff from his pipe, "Continue to do so."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Do not involve Sasuke, Nanashi." He had never called her by her full name before.

Said woman turned around and smiled, her teeth resembling those of a hunter staring at her prey.

"Why Itachi-kun, I never knew you cared so much."

Itachi moved fast and soon Nanashi was pressed against the wall and a kunai against her throat.

"Do. Not. Involve. Sasuke." Itachi whispered harshly, his eyes spinning, bleeding into red.

Nanashi laughed darkly, and the nails on her hands grew sharp and into claws. She pressed her right hand over his heart and leaned towards his ear.

"Then you should never have involved _**my son**_."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"_The Kyuubi," Kagami whispered quietly and Nanashi stilled. _

"_The Uchiha clan will aim for the Kyuubi during the confusion in the village after rebellion," Kagami spoke monotonously. _

_Nanashi's grip tightened and her cup shattered into pieces. Her chakra grew ominous and her eyes bled into the red Mangekyo sharingan. _

"_Itachi would not have told you," Kagami remarked, 'and no one else would have either' was left unspoken. _

"_Whether it be the clan or the Hokage, no matter which side, they will release the Kyuubi if necessary, and what will happen to that boy?" _

_Nanashi's chakra became murderous. _

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"… kaa-chan…" Naruto said tiredly as he rubbed his eyes, he stepped into the living room.

Nanashi smiled gently from the sofa, placed down her mug of tea and opened her arms as Naruto walk into them.

She smiled softly as he clung to her like he did as a toddler and rang her fingers through his blonde hair. Soon Naruto would be too old for this and Nanashi would treasure whatever time she had left of his innocence and childhood.

"Naruto, do you know a boy named Sasuke?"

He shook his head tiredly and yawned.

"Well, how about kaa-san gives you a mission?" Nanashi said teasingly.

And as expected, Naruto woke up slightly from that and whispered excitedly.

"Really kaa-chan!" He smiled brightly and hugged her tightly, "Yatta!"

Nanashi smiled, "Alright and you need to tell Sai as well because it's a mission for both of you." Naruto nodded, his blue eyes shone beneath the moonlight.

"You can't tell anyone else no matter who it is alright? You and Sai are going to become friends with Uchiha Sasuke and help kaa-san keep an eye on him. Kaa-san needs to protect him when he is outside of school but she can't if he's always at school. So Naruto and Sai are going to help kaa-san right?" Nanashi said sweetly.

Naruto nodded and cheered silently, "Yeah! Sai and I are going on a mission! What rank is it kaa-san!"

Nanashi whispered conspiratorially, "SS-Rank."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"How is Sasuke at school Nanashi?" The Third asked.

"According to Naruto, Sasuke-san is putting my teaching to good use," Nanashi remarked.

The Third nodded absentmindedly, "Continue to keep an eye on him, you never know what children might hear."

Nanashi nodded.

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><p>.<p>

"Sasuke is a poop-head! Just cause he can do the stupid bunshin doesn't make him better!" Naruto grumbled as he stuffed another piece of meat into his mouth.

To his left Sai nodded absentmindedly, with most of his attention focused on devouring the tofu meal in front of him.

To Naruto's right were Anko and Shin, the former trying to stuff ginger down the latter's throat for stealing her dango. Nanashi and Kakashi sat across with Kakashi to her right and Kimimaro to her left.

Kimimaro smiled, "What's the matter now, otoutou?"

Naruto puffed out his cheeks, "I got into a fight with Sasuke about bunshin cause I couldn't do it and he called me a wimp." He then looked at Nanashi and Kakashi, "But I didn't do nothin' and I didn't retort either! I just left with Sai!"

Nanashi smiled and nodded approvingly, "It's fine Naruto, you just have a lot of chakra, when you grow older you will be able to control it better." Kakashi hummed in agreement.

Naruto beamed under the praise and went back to his meal.

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><p>.<p>

"_I came to you for a request," Kagami stated. _

_Nanashi smiled thinly, her eyes cold and brightly red underneath the light, "Please, do tell."_

"_Do not let that boy's hands be stained with blood," Kagami pleaded. _

_Nanashi stared at him coldly, "You will forsake your son to the shadows but not that boy." She took a sip of her tea, "You are an interesting man Uchiha Kagami, but I have no obligation of doing anything for you." _

_Kagami stared at her and for a moment it seemed as though he were not there at all, "… you are very much like your father… he was like that too, always wearing a mask and hiding beneath it…" _

_Nanashi's lips pursed slightly and she smiled, "We are here to talk about the clan's issues are we not? My… father, as you say, well I have never met him and if he were like me I doubt that I'd like him very much." _

_Kagami laughed, "He said the exact same thing before you were even born… but he would have loved you and your twin as well." _

_Nanashi stiffened and whispered softly, "Is that a threat Kagami-dono?" Kagami's eyes bled into red much like her own, "It will depend on your answer, Nanashi. I do not believe the Hokage will take kindly to a traitor raising the Jinchuriki." _

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><p>.<p>

"Nana-nee-chan… please do not involve my brother in this… Sasuke is still so young, too young…" Itachi pleaded.

For a moment, Nanashi wanted to agree, wanted to hold that boy in her arms like she used to and protect him as she does Naruto… but she can't. Not when this boy threaten her _**son**_, threatened the family she tried so hard to create.

"… you should not have involved Naruto, Itachi… my son is still too young as well."

"But he is not yours, not your blood or your flesh, he is –"

"**He is mine!**"

Silence.

Nanashi took a deep breath, "… don't worry, your brother will not be harmed… I am doing this for his own protection…"

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><p>.<p>

"Hyuuga-sama, I trust that you are well?" Nanashi questioned leisurely.

She pressed a brightly covered gift into Hinata's hands and smiled sweetly at the shy girl before being led to the tea room.

Hiashi grunted out a reply and stared at her with cold eyes.

Nanashi smiled savagely, "I have come to offer my first betrothal gift on behalf of my son."

Her hand slipped inside her wide sleeves and pulled out a scroll and delicately placed into in front of Hiashi.

His hand reached out and gingerly plucked the scrolled before unravelling it. After reading a few lines his eyes widened in shock.

"What is this?" He questioned, his voice full of anger.

Nanashi smiled serenely, "An official document from the First declaring the First Honourary Clan in the Clan Councils, I trust that you understand the importance of this?"

Hiashi's hand shook, "How- How did you manage to obtain this? No, even if you did it would mean nothing unless the Clan Head renounces the position himself."

Nanashi laughed, "Well, keep the document for now Hyuuga-sama… the future is never set in stone. And I have given my word I have I not? The three things the Hyuuga clan desires above all else will be given to them in exchange for a bride for my son. Take this. It will be a little part of the first gift. The true one will be here soon enough."

He stared at her coldly and with a look of fear in his white eyes, "What are you going to do you Bakemono."

Nanashi smiled widely, her teeth like that of an animal, "Why Hyuuga-sama, don't you know that monsters always lurk in the darkness, always ready to strike?"

She walked towards the sliding door with a flourish, "Just wait, soon you'll have what you want and it will be delivered in blood."

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* * *

><p>.<p>

"_I pushed my son into the shadows but now I must push you into the darkness for that is even worse than the shadows because there will be no light to save you, Nanashi," Kagami stated. _

_Nanashi looked solemn as she held her cup of tea. _

"_The brighter the light shines, the darker the shadow, and the darkness will be forced to fade. But it still continues to exists, waiting for a chance to strike. You must become that darkness for the light to thrive. You must hold back all the danger and blood for those in the light and shadow to continue as they have." _

_Nanashi smiled bitterly, "As shinobi you must do you duty. I understand Kagami-dono, this will be the first and final duty I will receive from you."_

_Kagami sighed and smiled tiredly, "Thank you for indulging an old man's whims." _

"… _no it is I who should thank you, thank you for dying to keep everything hidden…" _

"_It is our duty."_

"… _Yes, it is, that it why it is tragic." _

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><p>.<p>

Is life equal for everyone? No, it isn't.

Because it isn't it makes the lives of whom we treasure all that more precious. For them we can conquer nations, slaughter millions, and stain our hands with blood. For those precious to us we will protect even at the cost of someone else's life.

The road of hell is paved with good intentions, just as one's desire to protect their important people is paved on a road of blood and murder. For those we love we will extinguish the flames of life and allow the darkness to consume us.

This is the same for everyone because we all want our precious people to live happily without worry or fear or to see the darkness. To protect them we will become the shield and sword and slay all those in our paths. Even if it means becoming bathed in the blood of innocents, this is something we would all gladly do as long as those we love are safe.

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><p>.<p>

I promise there will be more action in the next chapter - a lot of plotting in this one... not sure if I'm too good at writing. Do review please!


	11. Chapter 11 - Sacrifice

**Title:** Mirage of Kaleidoscopes

**Summary:** Life is a kaleidoscope full of mirrors and shards that twist and turn creating a mirage of beauty and colour and in the end; life is nothing more than a beautiful illusion, just like a kaleidoscope.

**Author's Note**: … still hate writing this thing. So anyways I have received many questions about the last chapter and no I will not be explaining it in much detail because it'll give away so many things that I'm plotting for this story. *Cue evil laughter. Anyhow, the Mangekyo question… Yes Nanashi does have the Eternal Mangekyo, I made it reference to it several times in the earlier chapters. But I will tell you that her eyes are very different and special from all the others. Not gonna give away much, it'll be revealed later on. I've only given one small, tiny hint in the earlier chapters so go back and re-read it. If you still don't understand what I'm talking about go back and re-read the previous chapters carefully and dissect all the conversation between Nanashi and other people – mostly Shouji. I will attempt to make the eye thing more obvious in this one… try being the key word.

**Chapter 11:** Sacrifice

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><p>.<p>

**"_There are so many ways to be brave in this world. Sometimes bravery involves laying down your life for something bigger than yourself, or for someone else. Sometimes it involves giving up everything you have ever known, or everyone you have ever loved, for the sake of something greater." _**

**― _Veronica Roth, __Allegiant_**

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* * *

><p>.<p>

Nanashi looked at the darkening sky and sighed deeply. Her breathe turning into small wisps of mist in the cold air before fading.

A shawl wrapped around her and a mug of hot tea in her hands, she stood there on the balcony admiring the red and orange leaves.

It would be a long time before she would ever feel so peaceful again.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

"Kaa-san… why can't I do the stupid bunshin? Everyone else can do it but I can't," Naruto bawled as he clutched the sleeves of her dark blue kimono.

Nanashi gently patted Naruto's head and gestured for Sai to come as well.

"Listen to me Naruto, it is fine if you can't do it. Kaa-san will teach you something even better alright? And you can learn it with Sai as well. But you have much more chakra than Sai so remember to slow down for him alright?"

Naruto's eyes brightened at Nanashi's words and clutched Sai's hand and nodded vigorously, "Yes Kaa-san!"

Nanashi smiled, "Alright, this is the Shadow Clone Jutsu."

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* * *

><p>.<p>

"Sensei! There's an ANBU here!" Anko exclaimed as she went through hand gestures to prove that she was a Konoha kunoichi.

Nanashi placed that dishes down on the table and nodded, "Anko set up the table and serve dinner, I be back as soon as possible."

Anko nodded and grinned, "We'll save you some Nanashi-sensei!"

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* * *

><p>.<p>

"Nanashi-dono… the Sandaime wishes for a peaceful resolution to the coup d'état…" Shisui whispered softly. _But Danzo will not allow that_ remained unspoken.

Nanashi nodded, "Will you head into the shadows Shisui?"

He nodded grimly but with a resolute look on his face, "It is my duty."

Nanashi stared silently at the teen in front of her, "Even if it means losing all you have ever known, will you still go into the shadows?"

"For this village, for the people of Konohagakure… so that war will no longer come, I would do it a thousand times over…" Shisui replied.

Nanashi smiled bitterly, "A thousand times over… for the village and its people… Shisui, you are truly a shinobi of this village."

Shisui smiled sadly, "You are too Nanashi-dono… are you not doing all this for the ones you love?"

Nanashi paused and her eyes bled into red, "No… not for the village, not for the people, not even for those whom I love… I do this for myself… I do this because I am a selfish person Shisui…"

Shisui smiled, this time brighter, "Then you are not the monster they say you are Nanashi-dono." He placed his mask back on.

"Goodbye Shisui…"

"Goodbye Nanashi-dono…"

A gust of wind and Nanashi remained alone.

"Self-sacrifice… A nameless shinobi who protects peace from within its shadow… That is a true shinobi," Nanashi repeated the words that Shisui would say to Itachi and felt a deep resentment and bitterness towards the village that transformed these boys into creatures who have no choice but to thrive in the darkness.

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><p>.<p>

"Nanashi-san… how can I make the fire ball bigger? I've tried everything and it's still not as big as the one Aniki did before," Sasuke sulked as he sat beside her.

Nanashi smiled and passed Sasuke a towel and a bottle of water, "Patience Sasuke-san… no one expects you to master the Goukakyuu in a short time."

Sasuke shook his head, "Aniki did it in a week so I want to as well!"

He tossed his towel down and ran back, but before he could Nanashi's hand struck out and grasped his hand.

"Sasuke-san, look at your hands, they're shaking… remember what I have taught you, the trembling is the earliest sign of chakra exhaustion. I will not permit you to continue as more today," Nanashi's tone grew softer as tears began gathering near the edge of Sasuke's eyes.

"Tomorrow we will continue again Sasuke-san, but rest now for today."

Sasuke's eyes brightened, "Really! You're coming back tomorrow as well Nanashi-san!"

Nanashi nodded, "Just tomorrow, seeing that you've worked hard today I wouldn't mind taking some extra time to teach you."

Sasuke cheered.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

"_Danzo-sama, I did not expect that you would call on me again… and with Itachi-kun together," Nanahsi remarked coolly._

_The old war hawk merely stared at her blankly before speaking, "The Uchiha clan must be eliminated."_

_Itachi stiffened and Nanashi blinked slowly, and a tiny smile made its way onto her lips, "And why Danzo-sama, have you come to us?" _

_Danzo stared at Nanashi and smiled savagely, revealing the sleeping beast inside of him, "Two Uchihas who have access to the entire compound and both with enough skills to be the next Kage. It will be easier to stop the coup d'état before it even takes root in Konoha." _

_He turned to look at Itachi, "Kill the Uchiha and protect the village, this is the duty of all shinobi of Konohagakure – duty to the village comes before all else." He turned to Nanashi, "You are the Monster of Konoha, created, molded by our village – you of all people should know that for the tree to grow strong the roots must be hidden in the shadows." _

_Nanashi chuckled, "Danzo-sama you overestimate me. I am simply a woman trying to live a peaceful life." Her eyes flashed into red, "The tree will grow but I will never be content to stay in the shadows forever." _

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* * *

><p>.<p>

Naruto sighed as he flopped onto the couch with Sai following behind him.

"Kaa-san, my bed is getting smaller and so is Sai's, can we get new ones?" Naruto asked as he blinked his baby blue eyes at Nanashi.

Nanashi smiled warmly, "Naruto, Sai, just wait a little while alright – Kaa-san is a bit busy right now. And the room is too small for new bed, we'll have to think about moving soon. The apartment clearly isn't big enough for the two of you." Nanashi ruffled their hair playfully before getting back to the stove.

"Eh! I don't want to move!" Naruto whined with Sai nodding in agreement.

"Who's moving?" Kakashi asked from the entrance.

Naruto's head spun to the side and he let out a happy yell, "Tou-chan!" He tackled into Kakashi and laughed as he was held up and down before being placed back on the ground.

"Inu-san," Sai greet monotonously but with the mischievous gleam in his eyes. In his hands he held a bright orange book, "What's Icha Icha Paradise."

At those three words, the wooden spoon in Nanashi's hands was crushed into two. Kakashi paled as he saw an evil aura overtake Nanashi.

"Ane-san! Woah – what happened – Holy! Sai where did you get that book –" Kai exclaimed. Touma snorted and walked into the living room before Nanashi descended upon them.

"Yes, Kakashi _**do tell**_," Nanashi said deadly.

Kakashi paled and Naruto and Sai traded identical mischievous grins – mission complete.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

"You know, when I said that you two were too young to think about taking on Kakashi-senpai, I didn't mean that you should turn Nanashi-san's wrath on him instead," Tenzo lectured.

Anko snorted and ate another stick of dango while Shin laughed at Sai and Naruto's story.

"Otoutou, you shouldn't have done that to Kakashi-san… no one deserves to have Mother's wrath on them," Kimimaro scolded lightly.

Naruto pouted, "But he always reads those bad books when Kaa-san isn't there, right Sai?"

"Yes, Naruto is correct, when Hahaue is not there he rarely hold himself back from laughing even in the presence of children such as ourselves," Sai said monotonously.

Shin sighed, "Sai, you remember that Onii-san reads those books too right?"

Sai nodded, "Yes I have taken that into account but Naruto and I felt prudent that such books of evil must be burnt and exorcised."

Looking heartbroken, Shin sulked in the corner while Anko laughed, "God I can't believe that you're Shin's brother – god kid you're as stiff as a broad – but in a good way. Nice going!"

"_**How dare you even leave those **__**things**__** here when Naruto and Sai could have read it at any time!**_"

Naruto and Sai winced and looked a bit ashamed, "Maybe tree-man's right Sai, next time maybe we should just deal with it."

Sai nodded after hearing a particularly loud scream – Kakashi's scream – from inside the apartment.

Tenzo sighed, "… I'm not tree-man… I'm Tenzo…"

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* * *

><p>.<p>

"Uchiha Shisui committed suicide!"

"He was such a talented shinobi as well… what a waste, the Uchiha must be in an uproar."

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* * *

><p>.<p>

Today, Sasuke seemed solemn and sad.

"What's wrong Sasuke-san?" Nanashi enquired softly, _gently_ – the same way she talks to Naruto.

Sasuke looks up at her with big, dark eyes – _innocent, trusting eyes_ – and whimpers slightly. Nanashi sighs as tears begin rolling down his cheeks and she gently dabs his face with a hankerchief.

"Sasuke-san, remember you were the one who said that big boys can't cry right? Now tell me your problem and maybe I can be of help," Nanashi said kindly with a _(fake)_ smile on her face.

He look at her and harshly rubs away the tear, "Today people came and said that Aniki killed Shisui-san but it wasn't him and they keep on saying that it was. But I know that Aniki wouldn't do that!"

Nanashi smiled warmly, "Yes, I'm sure you're right Sasuke-san, Itachi would never betray the clan."

_**But I would.**_

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><p>.<p>

_Itachi froze in horror as his three-tomoe Sharingan began to evolve. In his hands he clutched Shisui's remaining eye and he watched with raptly horror as Shisui took several choked breathe, blood pouring out of his mouth and a sword through his chest. _

_And then Shisui slid down and fell face flat onto the wet ground. _

_Above the rain beat harshly against the tree leaves, Itachi stared blankly at Nanashi who was wiping the sword on a cloth._

"_Why… Why did you kill him! He told me to do it!" Itachi screamed._

_Nanashi stared at him and smiled cruelly, "But could you?"_

_Itachi stared at her with numb and pain filled eyes, "I would have – he asked me to." And he looked up with blazing, scarlet eyes, "I won't forgive you for that Nanash – Shisui was mine."_

"_You don't have to forgive in, in fact I hope that you will hate me as much as you can Itachi," Nanashi whispered softly, her voice broken. _

"_But you'll always thank you – I saved you from having to kill your closest friend, I saved you from becoming like me." _

_Itachi fell down on his knees and cried, "Shisui was my friend – my first friend! He was mine to kill!" _

_Nanashi bent down and wrapped her arms around him, "Yes, he was probably one of the most important people to you Itachi. That's why it's fine if you hate me for killing him – despise me, loathe me, hold me with all the contempt you can muster. I don't mind." _

_Itachi cried harder and the thunder boomed in the dark skies. _

"_But always remember that you'll thank me and owe me – I gave you the ultimate eye, saved you having to kill a precious person and you're hands will never truly be stained with his blood. You can sleep, live, dream without knowing that __you__ were the one who killed." _

_The rain fell on both their figures. _

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* * *

><p>.<p>

Shisui's body was found later on in the morning.

Crushed and eyes gone.

He was cremated and his ashes spread across the village.

_**The village he died for.**_

Nanashi made sure of that.

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><p>.<p>

"I'm gonna be Hokage someday!" Naruto declared after dinner, while eating his ice cream.

Naruto grinned at Sai, "And Sai's gonna be my advisor and we're gonna fight bad guys like Kaa-san and Tou-chan!"

Anko laughed, "Oi Gaki, aren't you forgetting that your mom is the Third's declared heir."

Naruto gasped, "Really Kaa-san! Then you're my rival?"

Nanashi smiled weakly, "Yes Naruto, I am."

Then Naruto frowned and cross his arms and then he brightened, "Alright then Kaa-san will be my rival and if she becomes Hokage first then I'll just be Hokage after her!"

Kimimaro patted Naruto on the back, "That's a good goal Otoutou, mother is very good opponent to measure yourself against."

Shin nodded and spoke sagely, "Yep, an opponent that you can't hope so I'll prepare a funeral casket just in case."

Seeing that Naruto was about to throw a tantrum at Shin's remark, Sai intervened, "It's okay Naruto, I'll be fighting with you so we'll definitely beat Hahaue together!"

Naruto nodded, "Yeah! And we'll also kick Shin-nii's butt as well." Sai nodded, completely ignoring Shin's cries of "Sai! You traitor!"

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><p>.<p>

"_Nana-chan… these eyes, they aren't permanent… I thought I had it all perfect, developing a normal sharingan into the Mangenkyo – I thought that it would make you all better if I gave you Shinji's Mangenkyo eyes, but I was wrong."_

_Shouji chuckled sadly. _

"_I'm sorry but this is the best that I can do – I'm sorry Nana-chan. I couldn't give you those eternal eyes."_

_Nanashi held Shouji's face in her hands and smiled, "I'm fine – I'll get to see again and for that I am grateful. Thank you…"_

"_I love you Nana-chan… I'd do anything for you… anything…"_

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><p>.<p>

Nanashi fiddled with the silver and gold rings dangling on a silver chain and smiled sadly. The silver ring was a plain and simply one, with the engraved words of "Forever and Beyond." The gold ring was more elaborate with a ruby rose in the center, the engraved words were "Will you marry me?"

She placed the chain back in the box.

"_I love you… I love you… Don't forget me Nana-san."_

"_I love you… I love you… I'll always love you Nana-chan."_

She would never be able to reply.

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><p>.<p>

"_**I love you more than anything in the world."**_

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><p>.<p>

Naruto laughed brightly as he and Sai raced down the grassy hill, eyes bright with excitement and happiness. Nanashi felt a rush of adoration and indulgence swell within her and she smiles gently at the two children in front of her.

Beside her Kimimaro matches his pace to her and clutches one of her hands. Nanashi smiles at him and Kimimaro hesitantly returns it.

"Kaa-san… where are we going?" Kimimaro asked.

Nanashi stared ahead, and smiles sadly, "A very special place, Kimimaro."

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><p>.<p>

"Remember what it means to be a shinobi of Konohagakure…" Nanashi said solemnly as she traced Hotaru's name on the stone.

She turned around and stared at her three children.

"Do not fight for glory, for power, or revenge – to fight is to know that your life can be forfeited at any moment. To fight as a shinobi is to know that you fight and die within the shadows – you are the unknown, the un-named, and the ones who must embrace the darkness of this village," Nanashi looked them in the eyes and willed them _to see_the darkness, the pain, the hatred and bitterness lurking within this village built once on a promise between two boys but now is nothing more than a mask hiding the darkness and evil lurking within it.

"You fight to protect your loved ones but don't forget that the people you fight, the people you kill and slaughter – they are also fighting for the ones they love and wish to protect. Do not judge your comrades, your friends, you enemies for the actions they must take and killing they must enact – because we all fight for the same reason."

Naruto scrunched up his face, "But Kaa-san, what about the Hokage? Isn't he the hero?"

Nanashi smiled fondly at her little sun, but also a little sad. "A shinobi is not hero, we are glorified murderers who act as the sword and shield for our prospective village. A Hokage is the one who embodies the all the darkness and light of a village – the strongest shinobi. But a Kage is also the cruelest murderer."

Her eyes flashed red, "Remember this day and remember it well – if you still want to be shinobi, if you still want to fight for Konoha."

All three of her boys looked at her, for the first time, with fear and reluctance.

"You will not walking the path of a hero, you will walk in the steps of the murderers who came before you. But remember, you will fight for those you love that will carry you to the end."

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><p>.<p>

"_**Fight not for yourself because it will only make you falter – fight for those you love and you will never give up."**_

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><p>.<p>

"Why did you take Naruto there! You know that he is too young to hear such things from you!" Kakashi accused with barely hidden anger.

Nanashi stared at him calmly and smiled, "He needs to know this as soon as possible – he wants to be Hokage doesn't he? What is a Kage if he cannot even face the demons lurking within his own village?"

"That give you no right to take him there – he is only six years old."

Her eyes turned cold and hard, "We were barely five when we had to fight a war. We had to kill and slaughter when we were six and we had to see all the darkness in the world without anyone sheltering us. We became strong."

"Yes," Kakashi said brokenly, "But we also broke."

Nanashi turned away, "Naruto, Kimimaro and Sai won't break, they are strong."

"Even the strongest can break. Look at you, look at me – we broke."

"No, they won't. Not with Naruto, not while you and I keep the darkness a bay," Nanashi said looking Kakashi in the eye. "I showed them only a glimpse of the darkness today but that will be it for now – a reminder that the world is not as bright as they think it is. Until they are ready to face it we will face the darkness for them."

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><p>.<p>

"_A peaceful resolution with the Uchiha clan is what I want Nanashi," the Third spoke tiredly. _

"_If that is not possible?" Nanashi questioned. _

_The Third stared at the wall with blank eyes, "Then Danzo will be the one to take it from there."_

"_Yes Sandaime-sama."_

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><p>.<p>

"_Hiruzen is too weak to do the necessary thing – but I am not," Danzo stated solemnly, "The Uchiha clan must be eliminated so matter the cost."_

_Itachi stiffly nodded and Nanashi smiled. _

_**If only you knew, Danzo, if only you knew.**_

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><p>.<p>

"Happy Birthday Sasuke-san," Nanashi said quietly.

Sasuke beamed and cautiously unwrapped the present in his hands. His black eyes brightened as he held the new kunai and shuriken set in his hands.

"Thank you Nanashi-san! Aniki and Otou-sama won't let me use _real_ ones yet – just the really dulled ones."

Nanashi smiled, "You are a big boy now Sasuke-san, more than ready to face the world."

Sasuke smiled brightly and nodded.

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><p>.<p>

_**I'm sorry.**_

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><p>.<p>

"_London Bridge is falling now, falling down, falling down. London Bridge is falling down, my fair lady…_" Nanashi sang quietly in a language from her past life.

"Okaa-san, are you still up? It's time for bed," Naruto said tiredly as he peered into the kitchen.

Nanashi turned her head away from the bay window and smiled at Naruto, "Kaa-san will sleep soon, Naruto you go first alright?"

Her little sun nodded tiredly and walked away.

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><p>.<p>

"I met Sasuke's Niichan today! Kimi-nii is obviously better!" Naruto said, stuffing his cheeks with rice.

"He's got these really weird lines on his face and looks super weird," Naruto tilted his head for a moment, Nanashi smiled, _so adorable_. "Ah! He looks like Shin-nii when he gets beat up my Anko-nee-chan! Super weird and creepy!"

"Why you! Naruto!" Shin exclaimed while Anko laughed.

Sai nodded, "Yes, and although he is obvious better than Shin-nii-san in terms in skill, he would lose to Kimimaro-san without a doubt."

Ignoring Shin's cries of, "Naruto! You corrupted my cute little brother!" Kimimaro smiled at Naruto and gently ruffled his hair, "It makes it happy to hear you say that Naruto."

Naruto beamed.

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><p>.<p>

"_Why do you fight Itachi?" _

"_For the village, for the people of Konohagakure, for everything this village stands for."_

"_Not for you clan, or family… or even Sasuke?"_

"_I treasure them but I must always put the village first."_

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><p>.<p>

The Third took a deep whiff from his pipe as he gazed upon Konohagakure from the Hokage Monuments.

"So the Uchiha clan will not easily back away – you may leave now Weasel."

The Weasel masked ANBU nodded stiffly before disappearing in a whirlwind of leave.

"Sandaime, what will you have me do next?" Nanashi asked softly as she slowly appeared from the shadows.

The Third contemplated deeply and his gaze turned blank as though he were in another place.

"This village was built on a promise between Hashirama-sama and Uchiha Madara. Both wanted to create a village in order to stop all the fighting and bloodshed – but it only created more instead."

He sighed, "Let Danzo do what he wishes."

Nanashi nodded, "Yes Sandaime."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"_**One to commit the crime and another to shoulder it."**_

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"This mask will be your identity now," Danzo stated as he placed the mask in Nanashi's hands.

She nodded and smiled, "Yes Danzo-sama."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"_I will do it," Nanashi said as she took another sip of her tea. Danzo and Itachi both looked in her direction. _

"_I will do it, but Itachi will shoulder the it, will that do Danzo-sama?" Nanashi asked sweetly. _

_Danzo stared at her with his sole eye and smiled, "Yes that will do – you truly are meant for the Uchiha Nanashi."_

_Nanashi smiled, "No… I am meant for the darkness not the shadows."_

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Nanashi smiled fondly at Naruto's sleeping form and gently pressed a kiss on his forehead.

"Kaa-san, are you going on a mission?" Kimimaro asked.

"Yes, the Hokage is sending me to Earth as a guard, take care of your brother while I am away."

Kimimaro nodded and leaned into her touch as she pressed a kiss on his forehead as well.

"Take care of each other."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"I want Kaa-san's ramen," Naruto said sadly. Sai nodded as he poked at the tofu dish in front of him.

"Come on I thought the two of you loved this restaurant," Kai said cheerfully.

"But I want Kaa-san…"

"Oh boy…" Kai whispered as tears began to gather in Naruto's eyes.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"It's only going to be a week Naruto, Nanashi will be back soon," Kakashi said soothingly as he put Naruto and Sai to bed.

The two boys had taken to sleeping in the same bed as they used to when they were younger.

"Inu-san, will Hahaue be back tomorrow," Sai asked.

Kakashi shook his head, "A bit later than that."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Anko snorted as Shin recounted Sai's "teary and emotional questioning about Nanashi" that had him crying as well.

"Man, it's only been like what, a week since sensei left and look there," Anko said jabbing a senbon at the depressed figure of Kimimaro.

"… A week and five hours now…"

Anko sweat dropped as Shin joined Kimimaro in the corner as well.

"I need more dango."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"RUN!"

But they would never get away.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"_If the coup d'état happens, they will come for the Kyuubi as well," Kagami whispered._

_Nanashi felt the cup in her hand shatter. _

"_No matter who wins this, the Kyuubi will be used," he stared into Nanashi's eyes and smiled, "You want to protect your son, don't you?"_

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Secure the premise," Red Fox ordered while wiping the blood off of the sword.

The blank masked ANBU nodded.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"_London Bridge is falling now, falling down, falling down. London Bridge is falling down, my fair lady…_"

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Please! Please! Spare my child, plea –"

The woman's pleas were cut short as a sword went through her head.

The child's screams grew louder and they grabbed a kunai and tried to stab the cloaked man with the red fox mask.

The child didn't even take a single step before their head rolled down their shoulders.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"… Why… why are you doing this… when you are a Uchi-" The man's voice stopped as he choked on his own blood.

His stomach slashed open and his eyes wide, the three-tomoe Sharingan still spinning wildly.

Red Fox stuck their gloved finger into the man's eyes sockets and pulled the two Sharingan eyes out and sealed it in a scroll.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"No… No please… I beg you please… spare me… I have a child… please…" The woman begged as she clutched at her large stomach.

Red Fox didn't hesitate as they shoved a sword through her.

A few quick hand signs and the building began to burn.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The little babe slept on, unaware that their mother was lying below the crib, a pool of blood forming around her.

Red Fox stepped closer with a kunai at hand and felt the dead woman's hands clinging to their pants. Shrugging off the grip, they walked closer to the crib and slit the babe's throat.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

A few survivors, all with the Mangekyo charged at cloaked figure with the Red Fox mask with killing intent so thick you could cut it with a knife.

"Kamui. Amaterasu."

Few droplets of red fell from the red mask as Red Fox pulled the Mangekyo eyes from the still half-living Uchiha and crushed them in their hands.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"A Sharingan, three tomoe – you'll be giving that to me little girl," Red Fox stated.

The girl, sixteen year old, shook with fear as she hid her little brother behind her.

"…I-If I give it to you, will you spare him," She asked.

Red Fox nodded and the girl sighed with relief.

She walked closer and screamed as Red Fox rushed past her with a sword and severed the boy's head from his neck.

"Satoshi!" She screamed but before she could get another word in two fingers plunged into her eye sockets and pulled out her eyes.

Red Fox stared at the three-tomoe, half-changing into the Mangekyo, and crushed it in their palm. Red Fox made a displeased sound and looked down when the girl clutched at their pants.

"… you monster, you monster... I'll haunt you for this!"

Her throat was slit right after.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Mama! Mama!" The little boy cried as he eyes turned red, two-tomoes spinning.

Red Fox bent down and the boy screamed hysterically. Plunging their fingers into the eye sockets and ignoring the boy's screams of pain, the two eyes were plucked out and sealed.

Red Fox slit the boy's throat with precision and left.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"So you came… and walk the path as I hoped you would – thank you," Kagami whispered as his eyes grew dull.

Red Fox nodded and plunged their fingers and pulled out the Mangekyo eyes before crushing them.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Three-tomoe," Red Fox stated as he stared at the pair of eyes before sealing them.

In front, the woman took deep, pained gasps. Unable to speak due to her throat being slit and the blood began to pool beneath her.

In her hands she clutched a photo of a small, smiling boy – Shinji.

"Goodbye Aunt."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

By night time, the Uchiha district was painted with blood.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"_London Bridge is falling now, falling down, falling down. London Bridge is falling down, my fair lady…_"

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Red Fox's black cloak and gloves was soaked red by the blood and they sang quietly as the two bound figures kneeled in front.

A sword in hand and Itachi close behind, Red Fox walked towards the Uchiha Head and his wife.

"We're proud of you Itachi, always know that. Take care of your brother," Uchiha Fugaku said before the sword came down.

"Please, take care of my boys," Uchiha Mikoto wept before she two joined her husband.

Beside Red Fox, Itachi wept but no noise came from his mouth.

Red Fox took his hands and placed it over the sword.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"_**Why Aniki! Why!"**_

"_**To test my limits, foolish little brother."**_

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Did you hear, Uchiha Itachi slaughtered the entire clan – only his little brother was left."

"I always knew that there was something wrong with that boy."

"Poor Sasuke, he's so young."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Kaa-san!" Naruto exclaimed he ran towards Nanashi with tears in his eyes.

"Kaa-san! W-we thought that you weren't gonna come back!" Naruto bawled and Sai clung to her.

"Everyone keeps saying that all the Uchiha are dead 'cept for Sasuke and-and" Naruto didn't finish before he was bawling his eyes out and clinging to Nanashi.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Kakashi stared at her in disbelief before he rushed toward her and wrapped his arms around Nanashi.

"You're alive, you're alive, you're alive," he whispered, chanting it as though it were a prayer.

Nanashi smiled as she felt those strong arms around her and the warm tears soaking her shoulder.

"Tadaima."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"There's another Uchiha – but it's that Monster."

"Well at least there's another one, now Sasuke-kun will at least have someone left."

"But why _her_?"

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Sandaime, I have returned," Nanashi said.

The Hokage nodded absentmindedly, "How was the mission?"

"Successful, Earth is willing renegotiate on trading with Konohagakure."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Danzo held the scroll containing the Uchiha eyes and stared at Nanashi, "Why?"

"Did you not want them Danzo-sama? I am giving it to you as a gift in exchange for a small thing in return."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Did you hear, Uchiha Nanashi is the new clan head of the Uchiha – the council decided to give the position to her instead of Uchiha Sasuke."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Hiashi-sama, the Uchiha Clan head has come to visit," a Branch member said from behind the door.

Hiashi nodded and the door opened as Nanashi walked in, clad in a fine kimono of black with white lilies.

"Uchiha Nanashi, why have you come?"

Nanashi smiled demurely and passed a scrolled to Hiashi, "I gave you only a small part of the gift last time but this will be the first gift."

Hiashi clutched at the scroll, "How… Uchiha Fugaku is a prideful man; he would never sign this with his blood."

Nanashi smiled, "Yes, he is indeed a prideful man, but even a prideful man will choose family over his pride."

She smiled savagely, her teeth glistening like knives, "The Uchiha clan has conceded the position of the highest clan to the Hyuuga. I always fulfill my promises Hiashi-sama."

Nanashi stood up and bowed, "Hinata-hime will be Naruto's bride after the next two gifts are delivered." Her eyes flashed red, "I hope that you will not forget yours Hiashi-sama."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"_Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall; Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again_."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Happiness is fleeting so treasure it while you still have it in your grasp.

When it is gone that is when you know pain.

But the pain is also a reminder of what you had – it may hurt, and it may cause you scars but don't forget that pain.

It is a reminder if the sweet, gentle, beautiful moments of the past – moments that you were a part of.

Without the pain how can we ever know the joys we once possessed, and how will be recognize the joys to come?

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

I'm not very good at writing about action but I tried so please **review **and give me some feedback.


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